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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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Here is your free personal horoscope from world
renowned
astrologer Rochelle Gordon
"I was awarded $500,000.00...."
"A great salary...."
"The man of my dreams...."
You know, Friend, there are many people out there
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But I know from my own experience and those of my
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more than you
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INTRODUCTION:
OK, Here is the poll of the century!!!
Which is better... Burger King or McDonalds?
My vote is easily McDonalds. I love a Big Mac,
plain with
Extra Cheese... plus the food is so much less
greasy...
and the fries are nicer. The chicken premier is
great too.
The chicken nuggets aren't so great since they
tried to
make them healthier and took the salt out...
what's all
that about? I don't want to be healthy...
Supersize me!!!
Click below to go and vote in the poll, I've also
managed to get rid of the annoying ads that were
with our
other two polls so for those of you who've missed
them I'll
list them below:
McDonalds Vs Burger King...
http://www.ezines4all.com/polls/McDvBK.htm
The Worst American Idol Judge...
http://www.ezines4all.com/polls/aijudge.htm
The Most Desperate Housewife...
http://www.ezines4all.com/polls/desperate.htm
Have a great day!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
An American woman goes to England to attend a
2-week company
training session. Her husband drives her to the
airport and
wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would
you like me
to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An English girl !!"
The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he
picks her
up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was
the trip?"
"Very good, thank you."
"And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked.
"The one I asked for - the English girl!!"
"Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could, now
we have
to wait a few months to see if it is a girl !!!"
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CARTOON TIME:
Getting Married
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200411/028.htm
Back To Life
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200411/029.htm
Something In His Shorts
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200411/030.htm
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FUN PAGE
Keeping Up Appearances...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/appearances.htm
Great Street Art...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/streetart.htm
I Care About You...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/icare.htm
Copter (Addictive little game)...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/copter.htm
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GETTING UP
One Friday night a man tells his wife that he is
going duck hunting
in the morning.
She says, "I want to go too."
He says, "NO... You are too hard to wake up."
She begged him, "Please, Please. I promise I will
wake up early." He
says, "O.K. but if you wont get up, I'm going to
screw you up the ass
or you are going to give me a blow job."
She said, "I've got nothing to worry about because
I will wake up."
3:00am the next morning the alarm goes off. The
man gets up and tries
to wake up his wife. She's still laying there and
he tells her that
he is going to take a shower and when he gets out
she'd better be up.
He gets out of the shower and she is still
sleeping. He tells her he
is going to give her one more chance to wake up.
He has to go out and
get their stuff and put the dogs in the truck and
when he comes back
in she has to be awake or she has to pay up. He's
out there about 30
minutes and when he comes back in his wife is
snoring.
He is pissed. He wakes her up.
He said, "OK now whats it going to be? In the ass
or a blow job?"
She said, "all right... I can't take in the ass so
I will give you a
blow job."
He pulls out his cock and she starts sucking on
it.
Then she begins to spit and spit. She says, "THAT
TASTES LIKE SHIT!!!"
He said, "Yeah, I know, the dogs didn't want to
wake up either."
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AUSTIN POWERS PICKUP LINES
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all
day long.
2. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)....Let's
get you out
of these wet clothes.
3. Nice legs...what time do they open?
4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you
checking out my
package.
5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one
more?
6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the
money?
7. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but
I'm the
only one talking to you.
8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest
woman
on Earth tonight.
9. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow
the
hell outta me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside
Superdrug,
so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille
name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm
naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the
stairway to
heaven?
14. You might not be the best looking girl here,
but
beauty is only a light switch away.
15. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a
stiffy.
16. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I
could be
you by morning.
17. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
18. Do you believe in love at first sight or
should I walk
by again?
19. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were
looking for
me.
20. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me
anytime you
want to.
21. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how
much have
you been drinking?
22. If you were the last woman and I was the last
man on
earth, I bet we could do it in public.
23. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you
shouldn't go
home without me.
24. Do you wash your pants in Windex because I can
see
myself in them.
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Comedy Classics 50 Movie DVD Collection
Featuring:
* Laurel & Hardy
* East Side Kids
* Our Gang
* Jimmy Stewart
* Fatty Arbuckle
* Buster Keaton
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