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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
Hello to you all, I'm Phil and I'll be your host
for this
evenings entertainment. First we have a quick
joke, then
some cartoons followed by some fun pages for your
amusement
and then moving on to our jokes. Once you've had
your fun
and enjoyment don't forget to check out the great
offers
from our sponsors as I have less money than most
of the
people in most of the poorest countries in the
world. The
way I see it, they have nothing... including debt.
I have
debt... a negative balance is less than zero so
therefore
they're better off than me. In all seriousness
though...
3rd world debts is a disgrace. Our countries took
advantage
of the developing world and have and continue to
bleed them
dry. If any debt should be owed it should be from
us to them
and if we spent more money cancelling debts and
giving the
developing world a fighting chance instead of
spending
money murdering people in wars then perhaps the
world would
be a better place. How can we justify spending
that amount
of money on war when we can't even cancel debts
that were
unjustified to start with? Anyone wishing to send
me an
email saying that they want jokes and not my
political
opinions... save yourself the bother and
unsubscribe. Big
Brother may be watching but we still have freedom
of speech.
Have a fantastic day!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of
Psychiatry has revealed
that the kind of male face a woman finds
attractive can differ,
depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, the study found that if she is
ovulating, she is
attracted to men with rugged and masculine
features.
However, if she is pre- menstrual or menopausal,
she is more
prone to be attracted to a man with scissors
lodged in his
temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on
fire.
Further studies are expected.
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CARTOON TIME:
A Visit From BJ Woman
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200411/019.htm
Cure For Nymphomania?
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200411/020.htm
Company Policy On Dating
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200411/021.htm
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FUN PAGE
Male Hypnotic Tool...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/mht.htm
Bubble Trouble
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/bubbletrouble/index.htm
Fail Your Driving Test
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=210&pid=2212&s=n
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Hey, remember that Sony PlayStation Portable (PSP)
giveaway
thing I told you about? Here's the address:
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Have a blast!
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SWEATER FOR A CHICKEN
Bubba was walking through a town one day when he
saw a shop
with a notice in the window. The notice said "We
sell
everything".
Bubba could not believe this so he went inside. He
walked to
the counter and asked the salesperson, "Do you
really sell
everything?"
The salesperson said "Yes, everything".
Thinking this was too good to be true Bubba said
"OK then
could I have a sweater for a chicken?"
The salesperson said "A sweater for a chicken?
Hold on I
will have to check the stock out the back."
Five minutes later, the salesperson returned with
a brown
paper bag. "Here you go, one sweater for a
chicken"
"How much?" asked Bubba.
"Three dollars." replied the salesperson.
"Three dollars for a sweater for a chicken -
excellent."
said Bubba. So away he went as happy as can be.
When he got
outside he thought to himself that maybe he should
check out
his purchase, so he looked inside the bag. At the
bottom of
the bag was a condom. He was mad and stormed back
into the
shop. He screamed at the salesperson "Hey, I asked
you for a
sweater for a chicken and you have given me a
condom -
what's going on?"
The salesperson replied, "Sorry buddy, I checked
in the back
and we seem to be all out of sweaters for
chickens, all we
had left was a pullover for a cock."
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LETTERS DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO
ANSWER:
Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from
me. One is a
middle- aged gym teacher and the other is a social
worker in her mid
twenties. These two women go everywhere together
and I've never seen
a man go into, or leave their apartment. Do you
think they could be
Lebanese?
Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, fowl
language and violence
on my VCR?
Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a
boy who was
raised in a good Christian home turn against his
own?
Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I seen it. Now
how do I get out?
Dear Abby,
My forty year old son has been paying a
psychiatrist $50. an hour
every week for two and a half years. He must be
crazy.
Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months and I
didn't know he drank
until one night he came home sober.
Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she
is going through
mental pause.
Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all
interest in sex to
send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all
interest in sex and
he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
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