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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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How To Burn Any Dvd Movie
If you have a CD Burner and a DVD player in your
computer
you can transfer any full-length DVD movie to a
single CD
with high quality results that will play on anyone
of your
computers. This program is not intended to be used
to copy
films in violation of the Millenium Copyright Act
and we
advise not using it for that purpose.
Burn any full length Dvd movie onto a blank CD
using any CD
burner!
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/dvdenergy
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INTRODUCTION:
Life is very busy in my house at the moment. We're
planning
on moving to the new house some time soon as we
have the
keys and it's currently sitting empty. We're
getting a new
kitchen though (expensive) because the other
kitchen isn't
up to scratch. The problem is though that it will
take
three months for the kitchen company to be able to
install
the kitchen. Do we move into the new house and get
by
without a decent kitchen (so no cooker or washing
machine or
dishwasher) and also go through the hassle of
living there
while workmen are installing the new kitchen OR do
we wait
and move in after the work is done and go on
paying for two
places as well as having to shell out $13,000 for
a kitchen.
Another expensive thing coming up is our wedding
which we
think might be on the 16th of April... that will
involve
more money and lots of busy planning too! I don't
know what
to do about presents because we've had a home so
we have
pretty much all the little things we need but we
need lots
of big things for the house... but we can't
exactly put
expensive things on a wedding list because I would
never
expect anyone to buy expensive things.
Oh, the stresses of being an adult... i quit... I
want to
be a kid again!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
For all those men who say, "why buy the cow when
you can get
the milk for free", here's an update for you.
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why?
Because women realize its not worth buying an
entire Pig,
just to get a little sausage.
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CARTOON TIME:
Clintons Scrap Book
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/028.htm
When I'm The Jockey
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/029.htm
The Nutcracker
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/030.htm
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FUN PAGE
Car Racing...
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=210&pid=5350&s=n
Pet A Dog...
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=210&pid=3716&s=n
Bounce...
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=210&pid=5207&s=n
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THE MAGIC TROLL
There once was a King and Queen who ruled a
kingdom by the
sea. One day the King's brother, who ruled a
kingdom in the
mountains, took ill and needed help ruling his
land.
The first king volunteered to help and explained
to the
queen that his brother's illness may last many
months. They
would see one another each weekend. Every other
weekend the
king would journey, on horseback, down from the
mountains.
On alternating weekends the queen would journey,
up from
the seaside, the same way.
"There is one very important thing to remember"
said the
king. "Halfway between the two lands is a bridge
which
crosses a deep ravine. The bridge is guarded by a
magic
troll, who lives under the bridge as most trolls
are apt to
do. He will ask you to pay a toll, a four leaf
clover, so
you must promise me you will always remember to
bring one
with you."
"I will" she replied thinking that would be easy
since all
castles in those days were surrounded by fields of
four
leaf clovers, for good luck.
So the time comes for the queen to make her first
journey.
She picks the clover, puts it in the pocket of her
dress
and off she goes. After a while she comes to the
bridge
and out crawls an ugly little troll. "He certainly
doesn't
look very magical" she thinks to herself.
The troll begins to speak. "I am the troll who
lives under
the bridge and YOU must pay a toll ... a four leaf
clover
if you please ... or bend over on your knees."
And with that he dropped his pants revealing the
biggest,
thickest cock the queen had ever seen. He then
thrust his
hips back and forth three or four times to show
exactly
what he intended do with his massive, 13 inch
prick.
The queen, all flustered and embarrassed, quickly
gave
him the clover and hurried on her way.
This went on for many months. The queen grew used
to
seeing the trolls equipment and even began
fantasizing
about how it would be to let the troll screw her.
After
all, the king was just of an average size and he
was all
she had ever been with. It got to the point where
her
panties would get damp at the thought of making
the
journey across the bridge.
One fateful day, as she approached the bridge, she
thought "What the hell, you only live once" and
threw
her clover away.
When she reached the bridge the troll was waiting.
"I
am the troll who lives under the bridge and YOU
must
pay a toll ... a four leaf clover if you please
... or
bend over on your knees."
"My god" said the queen looking in the pocket of
her
dress, "I seem to have lost my four leaf clover.
It looks
like I will have to take the second choice today."
So the troll helps the queen off her horse and
leads her
down under the bridge where there is a beautiful
bed of
flowers. She lifts her dress, slips off her silky
royal
panties, bends over and gets down on her knees on
the
flowers. As soon as he enters her soaking wet
pussy she
realizes why he is called a "magic troll".
The troll screws the queen like she has never been
screwed
before in all her life. Echoes of the queens moans
and
gasps of pleasure bounce off the ravine walls for
the next
couple of hours.
When they are finally done they lay exhausted in
the
flowers.
"I have to admit ..." said the queen,
"I'm kind of glad I lost my clover."
"Oh, I hear that one all the time" replies the
troll.
"Do many ladies come by here who have lost their
clover"
says the queen coyly.
"Oh no" replies the troll ...
"But your husband, the King, loses his every
single time..."
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GOLFING WIVES
An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman
are playing golf with their wives today.
This scene takes place on the first tee.
The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and
as she bends over to place her ball a gust of
wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of
underwear
"Bloody hell! Why aren't you wearing any
knickers?" her husband demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping
money to afford to buy any" she replies.
The Englishman immediately reaches into his
pocket and says, "For the sake of decency,
here's 50 pounds, go and buy yourself some
underwear."
Next the Irishman's wife bends over to set her
ball on the tee. Her skirt blows up to show that
she is wearing no undies.
"Bejesus woman! You've no knickers - why not?"
She replies, "I can't afford any on what little
money
you give me."
He reaches into his pocket and says "For the sake
of decency, here's 20 pounds, go and buy yourself
some underwear!"
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind
also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that
she
too is naked under it.
"Hoo, lassie! Why d'ye have no knickers?"
She too explains, "You don't give me enough house-
keeping money to be able to afford any."
The Scot reaches into his pocket and says,
"For the sake of decency, here's a comb.
Tidy yourself up a bit!"
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