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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
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INTRODUCTION:
I've not got much to say for myself today other
than
have a great week!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
The preacher got up in church one Sunday morning
and told
the congregation, "Brothers and sisters, we are
going to
have to do something about people parking behind
the church
at night. I was out there this morning and there
are enough
beer cans out there to build a car."
One of the old sisters stood up and said, "Amen
brother and
enough rubbers to put tires on it."
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CARTOON TIME:
And Do You...?
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/025.htm
Angel Bums
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/026.htm
Please Pluck Me
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/027.htm
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FUN PAGE
This Is A Cracker!!!
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/cracker.htm
Shove It
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/shoveit/index.htm
The Last Page On The Internet
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/lastpage.htm
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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
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Would you like a 5 Night Cruise for 2 to the
Bahamas by
participating in a special promotion?
Enjoy fabulous food, Vegas style shows and the
island of the
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CHRISTMAS DAY GOLFING
Four old timers were playing their weekly game of
golf, and
one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on
Christmas
morning, roll out of bed and without an argument
go
directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and
play a
round.
His buddies all chimed in and said,
"Let's do it! We'll make it a priority, figure out
a way,
and meet here early Christmas morning."
Months later, that special morning arrives, and
there
they are on the golf course!
The first guy says,
"Boy, this game cost me a fortune! I bought my
wife
such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes
off it."
Number 2 guy says,
"I spent a ton, too. My wife is at home planning
the
cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in
brochures."
Number 3 guy says,
"Well, my wife is at home admiring her new car,
reading
the manual."
They all turned to the last guy in the group who
is staring
at them like they have lost their minds.
"I can't believe you all went to such expense for
this golf
game. I woke the wife up early, gave her a couple
of
pinches and a wink, and said,
'Well, babe, Merry Christmas! It's a great morning
for sex
or golf, '.... and she said.....
"Take your sweater."
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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
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Computer software. It’s made millions, now I can
show you
how to do the exact same thing. You’ll make more
money in 1
month than you do right now in 1 year! I’m not
kidding...
see the proof.
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FANTASTIC PERSONAL ADS
And who said all the good ones were taken ?
----------------------------------------------------
Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex
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interested in a man who loves his pints,
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on
Patrick Street at three o'clock in the morning.
------------------------------------------------------
Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected
by
long-time fiancée, seeks decent, honest, reliable
woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel
world of
hatchet-faced bitches.
------------------------------------------------------
Ginger haired Galway man, a trouble-maker, gets
slit-eyed
and shitty after a few pints, seeks attractive,
wealthy
lady for bail purposes, maybe more.
------------------------------------------------------
Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in
a damp
cottage in the arse end of Roscommon, seeks
attractive 21
year old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.
------------------------------------------------------
Devil-worshiper, Offaly area, seeks like-minded
lady,
for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing,
romantic walks, and slaughtering cats in
cemeteries
at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.
-----------------------------------------------------
Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue
eyes,
seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8
PM
and 11:30 PM.
-----------------------------------------------------
Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year
old
double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own
brewery, and has
an open-minded twin sister.
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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
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Don’t hibernate this winter! JOIN eBounty and get
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