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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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***ATTENTION VIOXX USERS***
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In general, types of damages sought against Merck
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INTRODUCTION:
I'm sorry to have neglected you lovely people the
last
couple of days but I have been spending plenty of
time
doing things for the website including heaps of
new web
pages packed full of cartoons.
Have a great day and don't forget we have lots of
other
lists for you to sign up for at
www.ezines4all.com, don't
forget the 'LABLaughs' lists published five days a
week
thanks to the tireless efforts of Lorraine who
never goes
off and deserts her subscribers for days on end!
Have a fantastic day!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
There was a young woman named Jeannie
Who sobbed to her date, "You're a meanie".
You claim you're a stud
But, oh, what a dud!
Your prick is a real teeny-weeny.
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CARTOON TIME:
If Only Nature Was More Balanced
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/013.htm
Difficult Situation
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/014.htm
The Catholics Are At It Again
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/015.htm
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FUN PAGE
The Best Day Of My Life...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/bestday.htm
Every Woman's Angel...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/womansangel.htm
The Ant...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/ant.htm
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Hollywood Legends 50 Movie DVD Collection
Featuring:
* Marilyn Monroe
* Jane Mansfield
* Frank Sinatra
* Many more!
Copy and Paste the following URL into your Browser
to
Learn More:
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WHY THE INTERNET IS LIKE A VAGINA
The more people use it the bigger it gets.
If you play with it too much you can go blind.
You wouldn't believe the things people put in
there!
Some people think they know how to move around in
it, but
they really can't interface.
In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to
receive
information considered vital to the survival of
the species.
Some people still think that's the only thing it
should
be used for, but most folks today use it for fun
most of
the time.
It has no conscience and no memory.
It provides a way to interact with other people.
If you don't apply the appropriate protective
measures,
it can spread viruses.
It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses
yours. If
you use it too much you'll find it becomes more
and more
difficult to think coherently.
You think you're just playing around, but you can
get
involved in something that takes 9 months to
finish.
The part you see is actually just the front end of
a very
complicated system.
If you're not careful what you do with it, it can
get you
in big trouble.
It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good
your
intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you
may ask
yourself "why on earth did I do that?"
Some folks have it, some don't.
Those who have it think that those who don't have
it are
somehow inferior.
Those who don't have it may agree that it's a
nifty toy, but
think it's not worth the fuss that those who do
have it make
about it. Still, many of those who don't have it
spend all
their time trying to access it.
Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to
stop. Some
people would just play with it all day if they
didn't have
work to do.
Some people believe in security and avoiding
penetration but
others believe it should be open to all comers.
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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
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VIRGINS RISE
The Catholic priest in a small town had become
very
perturbed, and he decided to lay it on the line to
the
congregation.
"Brothers, sisters," he said solemnly, "it has
come to my
attention that there are tales to the effect that
immorality is rampant in our fair town. To be
specific, it
is being said that there is not one virgin left
here. This
vile lie must and shall be refuted. In order to do
so, I
ask every virgin in the congregation to rise."
Not a woman stirred.
The priest said, "I understand the modesty that
would make
a young lady hesitate to announce her condition
publicly,
but it is necessary to do so. Young women, I
conjure those
to rise who are truly virgins."
And still not a woman stirred.
Wrath now moved the priest. "Will you, for the
fear of
experiencing a small shame, incur a great one?
This is an
order from the Almighty: Let all virgins stand!"
And as his thunderous tones died away, a young
lady, far in
the rear, with a baby in her arms, rose bashfully.
The preacher stared with astonishment at the baby,
then
said, "Young woman, I'm asking the virgins to
stand."
And the young lady answered indignantly, "Well,
father, do
you expect this six-month-old girl to stand by
herself...?"
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