JokesUncut - 03 January 2005

 

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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom

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INTRODUCTION:

Happy New Year to all of you! I hope you had a great
Christmas and New Year. I had my family over on New Years
Day for dinner. My niece was a little brat... a
four-year-old who bursts into tears every time she doesn't
get her own way or when someone tells her off. Her mother
always then gives her her own way to stop her crying...
really wrong as far as I'm concerned.

I'll draw your attention to todays ad for 20 Disney films
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eBay or to sell at car boot sales. If I lived in the USA
it's an opportunity I wouldn't miss. The URL in case you
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Have a great day and don't break those New Year resolutions!

Phil

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QUICK JOKE

The general went to the doctor for a physical.
Before he began, the doctor asked him the
standard questions -- age, height, weight,
and then he asked when was the last time
the general had sex.

'Oh,' he mused, 'It was 1945.'

'Isn't that a long time to go without sex?' the
doctor asked.

'I don't think so. According to your clock it's
only 21:13.

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CARTOON TIME:

On One Of His Moods
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/010.htm

Strange Tree
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/011.htm

Creating A Scene
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/012.htm

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FUN PAGE

Todays game involves shooting some moving targets.

Camper Strike...
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A New York Christmas...
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A Purr-Fect Kiss...
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DONATION

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.

Man: "What are you doing here today?"

Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to
give me $5 for it."

Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm,
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Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"

Woman: "Unh unh," she replies, her mouth tightly closed.

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PUNISHMENT

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade
6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started
writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle
from one of the boys in the class.

She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"

"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you
for three days."

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realising she had
forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top
of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from
another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so
funny Billy?"

"Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."

Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the
punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three
weeks."

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns
around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there
is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly
turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.

"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over."

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