JokesUncut - 28 December 2004

 

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=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:

Hello folks, planning a kitchen just isn't easy. I wish the
companies involved would be more transparant with their
pricing structures. Some charge lots for appliances and not
much for cabinets and others do the reverse however neither
will let you buy one without the other. Also, most companies
don't quote you for installation which is a major cost for
kitchens because sometimes the cabinets come flat packed
and also plumbing, gas and electrics all need moved. I wish
I could find a reliable tradesman who could get the stuff
at trade price and then I could charge him for his time to
install it... that'd save a whole heap of cash.

Have a great day!

Phil

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QUICK JOKE

A man wearing a dirty raincoat sidled up to a
businessman on the street corner and asked, "Got any
pictures of your wife naked?"

"Certainly not!" huffed the businessman.

The other man inquired, "Wanna buy some?"

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CARTOON TIME:

Nudist Shark Food
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/004.htm

Side Effects
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/005.htm

Friendship
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200410/006.htm

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FUN PAGE

Todays game is a fun game of logic called 'Blox 2'

Blox 2...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/blox2.htm

Spot The Differences
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/differences.htm

Body Painting - What Strange Things People Do For Kicks
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/bodypainting.htm

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DISAPPEARANCE

A couple just got married, and when the husband went back to his house
he found that his bride had disappeared. He got very worried and
gathered up all his friends to search for his wife with no success.

Two days after his wife disappeared the man returned home to find her in
the kitchen. He asked her what she has been up to and why she hasn't
been home for so long.

She replied:

"These four men kidnapped me and had wild sex with me for a week."

The husband answered:

"But it's only been two days what do u mean a week?"

"I am only here to get something to eat."

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ELEPHANT CORK

Three scientists in Brunswick, Maine, were one day discussing what would
happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant's backside and force fed it
for 2 weeks.

But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was
hard to comprehend they decided to have a go.

A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY the
idea had never been tried, they were stuck for someone to pull the cork
out.

One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a monkey
to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to pull out corks
once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for another go. The big day
arrived, they set up all the monitoring equipment and set out to a safe
distance.

The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away and
the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first scientist
pushed the button to sound the buzzer.

They heard a loud roar, but there was no visual evidence. The three
scientists returned dejectedly to their lab.

The next morning in their local paper, they saw the headline saying
"Shit storms in Texas......Flying monkey kills cow."

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

Want to have fun and get a $300 gift card for free*?

Just click on the link below or copy it into your web
browser bar to find out how! We’re looking for a few good
consumers to join our club.

Click on the link below or copy it into your web browser bar
to see if we’re recruiting in your area!

http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/lt345.htm

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