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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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SANTA CLAUS IS READY TO PARTY!
And your gifts will be too, once you see our
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INTRODUCTION:
We're going away on holiday on Thursday. when I
say 'we'
I mean Lizzie, My Mother and I. We're going to a
place
in Wales called 'Llandudno' which I've not been to
before.
It's nearly six hours away by train with one
change. That
sounds quite easy but when you take into account
that I'm
visually impaired with other mobility problems and
my Mum
and Lizzie are both totally blind... then we'll
have all
of our luggage as well... that makes travel a
little more
complicated... especially as I can't read those
boards
that tell you what platform you need to go to to
get your
train.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
A couple drove down a country road for several
miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of
them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses,
and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of
yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied ........... "in-laws."
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CARTOON TIME:
Looking Natural
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/076.htm
Try Again After The Diet
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/077.htm
Wrong Time For That Plate
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/078.htm
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FUN PAGE
Todays game is a space invaders type game which
you can
play with either keyboard or mouse... it's quite
tricky.
Warrior...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/warrior/index.htm
Water My Plants
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/plants.htm
Random Fun Page...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/random.htm
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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
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SPEECH IMPEDIMENT
Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints
down at the local
bar, when one said to the other:
"If I ask you a question, would you promise to
answer me
honestly?"
"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire
away."
"Well," said the first guy, "why do you think all
the guys around
here find my wife so attractive?"
"It's probably because of her speech impediment,"
replied the
second guy.
"What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired
the first
fellow. "My wife doesn't have a speech
impediment!"
"Well," replied his friend, "you must be the only
guy who hasn't
noticed that she can't say 'NO'!"
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AN ALL FEMALE AIRLINE
A woman is flying on a jumbo-jet to Europe. After
they get up in
the air the loudspeaker comes on:
"This is your captain Emilia Rodrigues. We are
cruising at 35,000
feet .. etc. etc."
When the announcement is finished a woman
passenger beckons to a
stewardess and asks, "Is it really true that this
great big
airplane is being flown by a woman?"
"Yes, says the stewardess, Captain Rodrigues is a
woman."
"How wonderful! I am so excited! Do you think you
can arrange for
me to go up to the cockpit to congratulate her?"
Yes, I think I can arrange that. You might also
like to know that
the co-pilot is also a woman."
"Oh, how exciting. This is wonderful news! Please
let me go to
the cockpit so I can congratulate them both!" !
"OK, you can do that. You might like to know that
actually the
entire crew of this plane are women."
That is the most exciting thing I have heard in a
long time, this
has really made my day I just have to go to the
cockpit to
express my admiration!"
"One more thing you might like to know ... we
don't call it the
"cockpit" any more."
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