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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
First off, I'm not into these soppy girly type
pages...
Secondly, I'm not old enough to remember any of
this stuff
but Lorraine forwarded me some email and asked me
to stick
it on the website... and how am I to argue with a
woman...
So, for a quiet life...
Memories...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/memories.htm
Have a great day if you can recover from that
page!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse
stumbles into
a Podiatrist's office instead and weaves over to
the receptionist.
Without looking up, she waves him over to the
examination bed and says,
"Stick it through that curtain." Looking forward
to something kinky, the
drunk pulls out his penis and sticks it through
the crack in the
curtains. "That's not a foot!" screams the
receptionist. "Holy shit,
Lady. I never knew you had a minimum!"
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CARTOON TIME:
The Bobbyguard
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/061.htm
Sexy Outfits From Fredericks
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/062.htm
Dog On Pussy
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/063.htm
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FUN PAGE
The Do's And Don'ts Of Driving...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/driving.htm
Mili and Tary Snow
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/military/snow.htm
How To Lose Weight
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/loseweight.htm
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PAIN LEVELS
A man was going to the dentist to get some teeth
pulled. The dentist was
about to give the man some local anesthesia to
numb the pain.
"Don't give me any drugs doc, I can take the
pain." the man said.
The doctor pulled the first tooth out and the man
just grunted. Then the
doctor attempted to pull the second tooth, only
this one snapped in
half. But again the man just grunted.
"Wow, that sure is a lot of pain just to grunt at,
have you ever felt
pain like that before?" asked the amazed dentist.
"Well, twice actually." said the man, "The first
time was when I was out
in the woods and had to take a crap really bad. I
pulled down my pants
and jumped over this log. Just then a bear trap
closed on my balls and I
started running...."
"Damn that must have hurt." the dentist
interrupted. "What was the
second time?"
"Oh, that would have been when the bear trap came
to the end of it's
chain."
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NEED A SEAT
The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked
its length, looking
for an empty seat. The only one unoccupied was
adjacent to a
well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used
by her little dog.
The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I
sit in that seat?"
The French woman looked down her nose at the
soldier, sniffed and said,
"You Americans. You are such a rude class of
people. Can't you see
Little Fifi is using that seat?"
The soldier walked away, determined to find a
place to rest, but after
another" trip down to the end of the train, found
himself again facing
the woman with the dog.
Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?
I'm very tired."
The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted,
"You Americans! Not only
are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"
The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned
over, picked up the
little dog, tossed it out the window of the train
and sat down in the
empty seat.
The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that
someone defend her and
chastise the soldier.
An English gentleman sitting across the aisle
spoke up, "You know,you
Americans do have a penchant for doing the wrong
thing. You eat holding
the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos
on the wrong side of
the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong
bitch out the window."
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