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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
For years we have had the battle of the sexes as
each have
claimed they they have the superior intellect.
Indeed, there has been much speculation as to
which gender
is intellectually superior an in what ways the
male and
female brain differ.
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Have a fantastic day!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
My parents are from Glasgow which means they're
incredibly
hard, but I was never smacked as a child ... well
maybe one
or two grams to get me to sleep at night.
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CARTOON TIME:
New Female Olympic Spectator Sport
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Penis Pump Put To Better Use
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Cleaning Out The Plumbing
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FUN PAGE
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Psychic Quiz...
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Test & Keep a Apple iBook Laptop - Product Testers
Wanted.
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WHEN STATUES COME TO LIFE
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one
female,
faced each other in a city park, until one day an
angel
came down from heaven.
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced
to them,
"That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm
going to
bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in
which you can
do anything you want." And with a clap of his
hands, the
angel brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly , but
soon dashed
for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good
deal of
giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.
Fifteen
minutes later, the two statues emerged from the
bushes with
grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the
angel,
winking conspiratorially.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned
to the
male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you
hold the
pigeon down and I'll shit on it's head."
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KISS CHASE
Last week was parent-teacher conference week.
Thank God my
children haven't become the clock tower snipers
you would
imagine them to be with a mother like theirs. I
swear, if
it weren't for me the whole family would be messed
up and
misguided. Anyway, my six-year-old daughter tells
us as
we're leaving the house to meet her teacher, that
Antoine
has been chasing her and her friend around the
playground
trying to kiss them, and she's afraid she's going
to get in
trouble.
"Did you let him kiss you?" my wife asked.
"No, we ran away and told the teacher."
"That's good, Sweetie," my wife said. "The most
important
word a girl must learn how to say is no. Don't
ever feel
you have to do ANYTHING you don't want to do just
to make
someone else happy, okay?"
"Okay, Mommy," she smiled.
"Honey," I said to my wife, "do we really want her
running
and snitching every time a six-year-old boy tries
to kiss her?"
My wife's dirty look was cut off when my daughter
interrupted us.
"Antoine is not a six-year-old boy, Daddy. He's
the janitor."
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