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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
I know it's a little early but I'm really a big
kid at heart
so I went out and bought a Christmas Tree today.
Not the
traditional green but it was a White Alaskan Fir
Christmas
Tree and I bought lots of tinsel and banners and
baubles and
various other decorations like a big star for the
top of the
tree and coloured flashing lights and little
snowmen and
Father Christmas lights etc. I'm putting them up
now because
the way I see it.. if I've paid for them they're
not just
going up for a couple of weeks... I want to get my
moneys
worth.
Phil, full of the Christmas Cheer
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QUICK JOKE
A college professor in an art class asked his
students to
sketch a naked man.
As the professor walked around the class checking
the
sketches, he noticed that one of the young ladies
had
sketched the man with an erection.
The professor said, "Oh, no, I wanted it the other
way."
She replied, "What other way???"
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CARTOON TIME:
Back To Basics
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/019.htm
The Balance Of Nature
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/020.htm
Getting Old
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/021.htm
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FUN PAGE
Fun Shui Horoscope
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/fshoro.htm
Fowl Words
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/fowlwords/index.htm
Random Fun Page...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/random.htm
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NOW!-AGRA
After several disastrous attempts to synchronize
his own and his wife's libido with the
delayed-action
effects of Viagra, Tom the Bus Driver was
delighted to
hear about a new product called Now!-Agra. Each
pill
came with strict instructions; 'To be taken only
immediately before sex'.
So Tom phoned his wife - who was equally hungry
for
some satisfactory action - and arranged to be home
by
six that evening. Whilst he was finishing his
day's
work she had a long soak in luxurious bubble bath,
listened to her favourite records, and was truly
relaxed and ready when the clock struck six.
When he wasn't home by eight she was really peed
off, and by nine she was beginning to worry...
Tom came home sheepishly at ten, looking
absolutely shattered.
"What happened?"
"Well, I got back to the depot on time and the
Inspector asked me to park the bus at the back of
the
garage. I thought a few minutes wouldn't make any
difference so I said yes. Then I took out the
pill,
and somehow, after all our other problems, I
thought I
ought to give it time to 'kick in'. So I took it
there
and then..."
"And..."
"And I've only just managed to get out from under
the steering wheel..."
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What is ClubMom?
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ANGRY HUSBAND
An angry husband was complaining to his friend
about his slovenly wife.
"She never does any housework, I never get a
cooked meal, everything's
dirty, including her. I'm so fed up I sleep on my
own and I wish she was
dead."
The friend suggested that he try killing her with
sex. It wasn't an
offense, after all. So the man returned home,
dragged his wife upstairs
and kept her there the whole weekend.
By the time Monday morning came he could hardly
drag himself to work,
but when he came home that night the house was
spotless, a steak was
cooking and she was standing there with a sexy
see-through nightie on.
"You see, darling," she said. "Treat me right and
I'll treat you right."
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