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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
Apparantly women are wanting a 'girlfriends day'
to
themselves, but not just content with that they
want it to
be EVERY day! Us men stand no chance.
Happy Girlfriends Day...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/girlfriends.htm
Tonight it's bonfire night... please please
remember to be
sensible and safe!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in
between his
neck and the noose.
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CARTOON TIME:
Microsoft Helper
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/013.htm
The New Joy-Stick
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/014.htm
Horse Loving
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/015.htm
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FUN PAGE
Bobbing For Monsters...
http://www.gibbleguts.com/dir/html/Bobbing-for-apples.htm
Water My Plants
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/plants.htm
Nemo Aqua Energizer
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/aqua/index.htm
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SLEEPY STUDENT
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday
School.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was
napping.
"Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When
Mary
didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy
seated in
the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in
the
rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and the teacher
said,
Very good" and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our
Lord and
Saviour?" But Mary didn't even stir from her
slumber. Once
again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her
with his
pin. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the teacher
said,
"Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question.
"What did Eve
say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
And
again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time
Mary
jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that thing in
me one
more time, I'll break it in half!"
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ORANGES
A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for
obvious
reasons, kept it a secret from her Grandma. One
day, the
police raided a brothel and arrested a group of
prostitutes, including the young girl.
The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a
straight
line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking
in the
neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young
girl became
frantic.
Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young
granddaughter and
asked curiously," What are you lining up for
dear?" Not
willing to let grandma in on her little secret,
the young
girl said that some people were giving out free
oranges
and that she was lining up for some.
"Mmmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma, "I think I'll
have
some myself," she continued as she made her way to
the
back of the line. A police officer made his way
down the
line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he
got to
Grandma at the end of the line, he was bewildered.
"But,
you're so old, how do you do it?"
Grandma replied," Oh, it's quite easy sonny, I
just remove
my dentures, and suck 'em dry".
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