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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
Todays been one of 'those' days for me today.
First of all
an internet friend was extremely rude to me so
Lizzie
phoned her and she was extremely rude to her and
hung up...
then my Mum was rude to me... then I had a doctors
appointment where I had to get blood taken as well
as get
my Flu jab... and now my kidneys are grumbling at
me.
Wooo, now I've got all that off my chest... you
know a
problem shared is a problem doubled... so quit
bothering
someone else with your moaning... everyone has
problems...
live with it!
Have a blissful weekend folks... and don't forget
to vote...
you can't 'assume' people aren't stupid enough to
vote
Bush back in... you have to do something to try
and
preven it.. for the sake of this planet and
everyone who
lives on it.
Sympathetically,
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
"I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do
you rate me
as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at
fractions.'"
--Rodney Dangerfield
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CARTOON TIME:
3D Glasses?
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/001.htm
Mans Own Fault
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/002.htm
Feel The Difference
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200409/003.htm
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FUN PAGE
Very Scary Edwards and Kerry
http://www.gibbleguts.com/dir/html/Kerry-and-Edwards.html
Are You Over The Hill?
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/overthehill.htm
Random Fun Page...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/random.htm
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LONG FLIGHT
Two strangers are sitting in an adjacent seats in
airplane.
One guy says to the other, "Let's talk. I hear
that the flight
will go faster if you strike up a conversation
with your fellow
passenger."
The other guy, who had just opened a good book,
closes it
slowly, takes off his glasses and asks, "What
would you like
to discuss?"
The first guy says, "Oh, I don't know; how about
nuclear
power?"
The other guy says, "OK, that could make for some
pretty
interesting conversation. But let me ask you a
question first:
"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
stuff, but the
deer excretes pellets, the cow, big patties, and
the horse,
clumps of dried grass. Why is that?"
The first guy says, "I don't know."
The other guy says, "Oh? Well then, do you really
think you're
qualified to discuss Nuclear Power when you don't
know crap?"
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10 SIGNS YOU WATCH TOO MUCH FOOTBALL
10. Before sex, you flip a coin to see who will
receive.
9. You've been banned from the A&P for spiking
melons.
8. To feel closer to some of your favorite
players, you tear the
cartilage in your knee.
7. The kids bring home a good report card and you
dump Gatorade on 'em.
6. Most humans: 75% water, you: 75% chip dip.
5. During sex, you use a play clock.
4. You pay $22 million to have Deion Sanders
shovel off your driveway.
3. For the last two months, you've been wearing
nothing but a cup.
2. You fell in love with your wife because she
looks like John Madden.
1. After sex, you go for the 2-point conversion.
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