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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
It seems like yesterday I earned $0 to cover the
costs of
sending this thing because I was stupid enough to
provide
links that didn't work on each and every one of
the ad.
That means that I'd be really greatful if twice as
many of
you visited them today now that I've provided the
'correct'
links.
I found this picture... it's quite cool. Totally
natural
but just have a look at it and see if you and your
friends
can spot the baby...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/baby.htm
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
I know I'll never understand women. I'll never
understand how a woman
can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto her upper
thigh, and crotch area,
rip the hair out by the root, and still be scared
shitless of a spider.
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CARTOON TIME:
T-Shirt For Those With Enough Friends
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/067.htm
Nurse With Poor Hearing
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/068.htm
Look At That Ass
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/069.htm
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FUN PAGE
Todays fun page is a great one but not one for
those easily
offended. PG13
Hilarious Calenders For Men And Women...
http://www.damnfunnypictures.com/html/Calendars-For-Men-and-Women.html
Random Fun Page...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/random.htm
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YODELING
Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling
began?
California? Oregon? Switzerland? Most believe it
originated in
Switzerland, but here's the real version.
Many years ago a man was traveling through the
mountains of
Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching and
he had
nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and
asked the
farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer
told him that
he could sleep in the barn.
As the story goes, the farmer's daughter came down
from
upstairs and asked her father, "Who is that man
going into the
barn?"
"That's some fellow traveling through," said the
farmer. "He
needs a place to stay for the night, so I said he
could sleep
in the barn."
The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry." So she
prepared him
a plate of food and took it out to the barn.
About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her
clothing
disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to
bed she went.
The farmer's wife was very observant. She then
suggested that
perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a
bottle of wine,
took it out to the barn, and she too did not
return for an
hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned
incorrectly
and her hair all messed up. She also headed
straight to bed.
The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn
got up and
continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as
he left.
When the daughter awoke and learned that the
visitor was gone,
she broke into tears. "How could he leave without
even saying
goodbye," she cried. "We made such passionate love
last
night!"
"What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out
of the house
looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the
mountain.
The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm going to get
you! You had
sex with my daughter!"
The man looked back down from the mountainside,
cupped his
hand next to his mouth, and yelled out, "LAIDTHEOLADEETOO."
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HORNY COCKATIEL
A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra.
Anxious to try it out, he takes one as soon as he
gets
home, and waits for his wife to come home from
work,
but, in his excitement he forgets and leaves the
package open on the table and his cockatiel eats
all
of them.
Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the
bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.
Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his
wife
comes home and it is hours later before he
remembers
the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer
expecting the worst, only to find the bird
breathing
heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
"What happened?" the man asks, "You were in there
for
hours and yet you're not only alive but you're
sweating like crazy?"
The cockatiel pants: "Man, have you ever tried to
pry
apart the legs on a frozen chicken?"
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