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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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* DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? *
What do you think?
Answer for your shot at $1,000!
They're Real
http://www.ezines4all.com/links/ghosts.htm
OR
They're Not
http://www.ezines4all.com/links/ghosts.htm
Want to see Proof they exist?
http://www.ezines4all.com/links/ghosts.htm
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INTRODUCTION:
My favorite thing to play with when I was a kid
was Lego.
I used to spend hours building all kinds of stuff
whether
it was from sets or just by mixing all my sets
together and
coming up with something myself.
I never had quite enough bricks to build something
like this
though...
Lego Volvo...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/legovolvo.htm
Keep Smiling
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Here's A Puzzle for You:
Schwartznegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn't have one,
The POPE has one but doesn't use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,
George Burns' was hot,
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his,
What is it?
Think about it....
That's right!!!!!
A surname!
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CARTOON TIME:
Blonde Pole Dancer
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/061.htm
I'm Constipated, But You Know What?
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/062.htm
Look At This Cactus
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/063.htm
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FUN PAGE
Todays game is great fun, it's called 'Topsy Turvy',
have
a go and enjoy.
Topsy Turvy...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/topsyturvy/index.htm
Boob Cursor...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/boobcursor.htm
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500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets
More Passion & Intimacy with Great Sex from
Oprah Romance Expert - selling like wildfire. Tips
will drive your man or woman wild.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/mwebb
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SIMON GOES SHOPPING
Simon goes into a supermarket and buys:
* one can of beans
* one bag of potato chips
* one pack of burgers
* one tub of icecream
* one cake
* one yogurt
* one pint of milk.
* one carrot
* one pack of burgers
* one loaf of bread
He takes them over to the checkout, and there is a
really
pretty check-out operator.
She looks at what he has bought and smiles and
says "You're
single, aren't you"
He is pleased at the attention and smiles back
"Why yes, how
did you know?"
The girl replies: "Because you're an ugly
bastard."
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Gator was great in principle but full of spyware..
Now there
is Password Pro
Password Pal keeps track of all those pesky
passwords you
need for the Internet, online services, financial
sites,
and other secure sites and programs. Point and
Click your
way onto your favorite sites faster than typing.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/webbrowser
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FUSSY FEMALES
Dear _______________,
I regret to inform you that you have been
eliminated from further
contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably
aware, the competition
was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified
candidates such as
yourself also failed to make the final cut.
I will, however, keep your name on file should an
opening come
available. So that you may find better success in
your future romantic
endeavors, please allow me to offer the following
reason(s) you were
disqualified from the competition:
(Check those that apply)
1. ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't
imagine taking it,
hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
2. ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just
not something I
can picture myself yelling out in a fit of
passion.
3. ___The fact that our first dining experience to
date has left MY
wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little
tighter!
4. ___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy
condoms by the
truckload" indicates that you may be interested in
me for something
other than my personality.
5. ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I
asked you 20
questions about yourself before you asked me more
than one about myself.
6. ___Your constant emailing, shows me you have
TOO much time on
your hands!
7. ___Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can
FIT into my
pants, then you can't GET into my pants.
8. ___You're too short. Any son that we produced
would inevitably
be beaten up repeatedly at recess.
9. ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic
neck condition from
trying to kiss you.
10. ___You have a hairy back.
11. ___I find your inability to fix my car
extraordinarily
unappealing.
12. ___The fact that your apartment has been
condemned reveals an
inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
13. ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far
too often in
conversation.
14. ___You still live with your parents.
15. ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find
your wardrobe of Star
Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.
16. ___Your frequent references to your
ex-girlfriend lead me to
suspect that you are some sort of psychotic
stalker.
17. ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a
trait that I am
seeking in a long term partner.
18. ___Your height is out of proportion to your
weight. If you
should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17
vertical inches, please
resubmit your application.
19. ___Somehow I doubt those condoms that I found
in your overnight
bag were really necessary for a successful
business trip.
20. ___I am out of your league; set your sights
lower next time.
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Turn OFF the TV and Turn ON the Fun!
52 Stimulating Toddler Activities to Entertain and
Educate
Your Toddler. Don't let your television raise your
children!
Stimulate your toddler's mind with these great
toddler
activities.
Make playtime fun for your toddler and you! These
preplanned toddler activities make playtime a
snap! You'll
look forward to playtime as much as your little
one when you
have a ready-made list of activities.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/52ideas
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