JokesUncut - 04 October 2004

 

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=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The Whole Clan
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Shocking Pranks

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INTRODUCTION:

It's Monday... time to get back to work. Here's a little
something for you to get you off to a good start with
another working week.

http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/monday.htm

Work hard people!

Phil

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QUICK JOKE

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

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CARTOON TIME:

Ruining The Nudist Beach
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/046.htm

It Doesn't Matter What You Do
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/047.htm

What You'll Do To Get Promoted
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/048.htm

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FUN PAGE

Fly around in a little spaceship avoiding obstacles and
firing at things that get in the way whilst collecting more
shots and fuel so that you don't run out... what a great
way to spend a day.

Spaceship Eleven...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/starshipeleven/index.htm

Water My Plants
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/plants.htm

Random Fun Page...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/random.htm

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TEN MINUTES LATE

There are three golfers, (Bob, Max, and Ted) who
are looking for a fourth.

Bob mentions that his friend George is a pretty
good golfer, so they decide to invite him for the
following Saturday.

"Sure, I'd love to play," says George, "but I may
be about ten minutes late, so wait for me."

Saturday rolls around. Bob, Max, and Ted arrive
promptly at 9:00, and find George already waiting
for them. He plays right-handed, and beats them
all. Quite pleased with their new fourth, they ask
him if he'd like to play again the following Saturday.

"Yeah, sounds great," says George. "But I may
be about ten minutes late, so wait for me."

The following Saturday, again, all four golfers show
up on time, but this time George plays left-handed,
and beats them all. As they're getting ready to
leave, George says, "See you next Saturday. But
I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me."

Every week from now on, George is right on time
and plays great with whichever hand he decides to
use. And every week, he departs with the same
message.

After a couple months, Ted is pretty tired of this
routine, so he says, "Wait a minute, George.
Every week you say you may be about ten minutes
late, but you're right on time. You beat us either
left-handed or right-handed. What's the story?"

"Well," George says, "I'm kind of superstitious.
When I get up in the morning, I look at my wife. If
she's sleeping on her left side, I play left-handed,
and if she's sleeping on her right side, I play
right-handed."

"So what do you do if she's sleeping on her back?"
Bob asks.

"Then I'm about ten minutes late," George answers.

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33 THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO A MAN WITH A SMALL DICK

1. Look, it all fits in my mouth at once.
2. Were you neutered?
3. Deep throat??? I doubt it'll reach my tongue!!!
4. Can you get this pencil out of me now?
5. Stop fingering me and fuck me.
6. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks your dick.
7. I'm sorry.
8. I think there's a dildo around here somewhere.
9. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
10. Let me know when you're done.
11. Does it come with an air pump?
12. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
13. Did you date Lorena Bobbie?
14. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
15. Aww, it's hiding.
16. Are you cold?
17. I didn't know they came that small.
18. If you get me real drunk first.
19. Is that an optical illusion?
20. Who circumcised you?
21. Wow, and your feet are so big.
22. My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.
23. Nevermind, why bother.
24. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
25. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
26. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
27. (giggle and point)
28. Can I be honest with you?
29. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
30. Let me go get my tweezers.
31. How sweet, you brought incense.
32. But it still works right?
33. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes!

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combinations in order to evaluate their effects.

From these experiences, he created dozens of recipes that enabled him to
eliminate insect infestation in indoor and outdoor situations for
good... without using commercial products!

After years of new improvements, he reveals --FOR YOUR OWN USE-- the
best recipes to get rid of harmful insects and to transform your lawn
into the greenest grass of your dreams.

http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/shine1

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