JokesUncut - 01 October 2004

 

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

The world's largest collection of hilarious Dolls.

We have so many dolls for you to collect.

Choose From:

The First Family Of Farting
The Spice Mice
Weanie Babies
Picture Frame Bobble Heads
Romantic (And Funny) Talking Dolls
Big Bad Naughty Talking Teddy Bears
Trash Talkers
A Talking George Bush
and more

For more information and to catch a peek visit:

http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus20.htm

<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-

INTRODUCTION:

Lizzie is cooking dinner tonight so I thought I'd write
this note to let you know that if you don't receive any
jokes by Monday you'll know she's burned the house down.
To be honest it smells nice... I'm getting fed fish, chips,
onion rings and baked beans. They're called chips... they've
always been called chips and they always will be called
chips. The are NOT French fries and they are NOT freedom
fries... they are chips... crisps aren't chips either...
crisps are crisps.

Now that we've cleared that up, enjoy your jokes and have a
great weekend!

Phil

^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-

QUICK JOKE

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy said
to Dolly,

"I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," said Dolly

"It's true, straight up, no bull!"

^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-

CARTOON TIME:

Tokens Of Regret
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/043.htm

An Artist At Work
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/044.htm

Spoiling The Dog
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/045.htm

^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-

FUN PAGE

Cube Buster
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/cubebuster/index.htm

This Is A Cracker!!!
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/cracker.htm

Dog Owners Warning
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/dogowners.htm

^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-

<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

If you want to learn Photoshop fast and you want to do it
without reading boring books or going to expensive classes
then this might be the most important letter you read all
year.

Here's what this is all about:

Now you can learn Photoshop in less than 2 hours thanks to
newly released, interactive video tutorials that play on
your computer screen. You don't even need to own the
Photoshop software to use these videos. Everything you
need to learn Photoshop is included.

http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/jgardeners

<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-

TOILET PAPER

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She
gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he
arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers.
When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and
bushy.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no" he replies.

"Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her
hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there
anything I can do?"

"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily,
popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them
gently. "Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."

^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-

<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

43-Year Arthritis Sufferer Shocks Her Doctors
By Curing Her Arthritis...
Naturally Without Expensive Medication Or Surgery!
"I Cured My Arthritis You Can Too"

Over 241,987 Copies Sold

http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/arthritis

<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-

SHOPPING

Paddy was walking through a town one day when he say a shop with
a notice in the window. The notice said "We sell everything".
Paddy could not believe this so he went inside. He walked to the
counter and asked the salesperson, "Do you really sell everything?"
The salesperson said "Yes, everything".

Thinking this was too good to be true Paddy said "OK then could I
have a jumper for a chicken?". The salesperson said "A jumper for
a chicken?, hold on I will have to check the stock out the back".
Five minutes later, the salesperson returned with a brown paper bag.
"Here you go, one jumper for a chicken"

"How much?" asked Paddy.

"Three quid." replied the salesperson.

"Three quid for a jumper for a chicken - excellent." said Paddy. So
away he went as happy as larry. When he got outside he thought to
himself that maybe he was done, so he looked inside the bag. At the
bottom of the bag was a condom.

He was mad and stormed back into the shop. He screamed at the saleperson
"Hey, I asked you for a jumper for a chicken and you have given me a
condom - whats going on?"

The salesperson replied, "Sorry mate, I checked in the back and we seem
to be all out of jumpers for chickens, all we had was a pullover for a
cock."

^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-

<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

The Nerve Center Of Your PC - Windows Registry - Needs
Repairing!

Let Error Nuker, your amazing FREE PC Diagnostics tool,
identify the precise problems in your Windows registry so
you can determine exactly what your PC is suffering from.
Even if your PC is perfectly fine, you should try the
diagnostics tool if you want to avoid serious problems
before they happen. Best of all you can keep the tool and
find out if your PC has problems for FREE as often as you
like.

http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/errornuker

<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-

 

 

 

 

 

  

 



SUBSCRIBE TO THESE FREE EMAILS FROM Ezines4All.com
Tick the boxes of the lists you would like, place your email address into the space provided and then press the 'Submit' button.

JokesUncut

The 'pick' of all the newest and best ADULT jokes in the world... with daily commentary from that madman we like to call Mr-X

Click Here To Visit Homepage

DafterLafter

The 'pick' of all the newest and best CLEAN jokes in the world... with daily commentary from that madman we like to call Mr-X

Click Here To Visit Homepage

Buffalos G Jokes

Proof G doesn't mean stale, stuffy, or old. Good clean humor that can be shared with anyone. Be funny without being offensive or obscene. Try G-Jokes, your one stop clean humor connection.

Click Here To Visit Homepage

Buffalos Adult Jokes

A fresh batch of chips for you each morning. New jokes blended with those worth hearing again. Not for the easily offended or under 18 years old.

Click Here To Visit Homepage

More Great Lists From Our Partner Sites

LABLaughs Adult Jokes
Top quality Adult Humor from LABLaughs.com sent to your mailbox on a daily basis. This list is for grown-ups only!
Click Here To Visit Homepage
LABLaughs Clean Jokes
Top quality Clean Humor from LABLaughs.com sent to your mailbox on a daily basis. Fun which is suitable for all the family! Click Here To Visit Homepage
LABLaughs Adult Cartoons
A hilarious 'Adult' dirty cartoon from LABLaughs.com sent to you every day for viewing on the web, ideal to share with your friends! Click Here To Visit Homepage
LABLaughs Clean Cartoons
A funny 'Clean' cartoon, suitable for all, from LABLaughs sent to your daily for viewing on the web, ideal to share with your friends.
Click Here To Visit Homepage
LABLaughs Recipes
A mouth-watering recipe to tempt your every day. Whatever your tastes, you'll find something too add to your Recipe book.
Click Here To Visit Homepage
LABLaughs Inspiration
A daily piece of inspiration to bring a tear to your eye or a smile to your face. Usually as a poem or a short story. Get inspired today!
Click Here To Visit Homepage
LABLaughs Freebies
A great source to receive Free offers, samples of things, Vouchers, Promotional offers and much much more.
Click Here To Visit Homepage
LABLaughs Links
5 links to fun and useful sites on the internet sent every day. All links are checked to make sure that they're absolutely clean.
Click Here To Visit Homepage
LABLaughs Riddles
A daily riddle from LABLaughs to tax your brain... and distract you from your work. You can use these on your friends too!
Click Here To Visit Homepage
LABLaughs Trivia
Be a trivia buff and impress your friends with your useless info, you never know... it could help you win a gameshow!
Click Here To Visit Homepage
LABLaugh Files
A link to a funny file for you to download, either a sound clip, movie clip or an exe file, ideal to share with your friends!
Click Here To Visit Homepage
LynnLynn's Links
Surf the net with Lynn as she finds you the best links each day to guide you around the best sites the internet has to offer.
Click Here To Visit Homepage
Nekia's Adult Humor!
The BEST in Adult humor-Not raunchy just plain funny.
Toons included in every issue!
Over The Edge!
Xtreme Adult Humor! The name says it all! The best in "Oh My God!" Adult humor!
Aiken's One-Liners!
Five one line jokes that you can tell ANYBODY! They're clean, short and FUNNY
Click Here To Visit Homepage
Inspire
A traditional list that brings you inspirational material of all types. Promises to make you think, smile & ENJOY
Buffalo Lite
Lite Humor for people on the go. If you haven't go the time to sit and read the rest... spend a quick two minutes to read the best!
Click Here To Visit Homepage
A Laugh A Day!
The centerpost of CLEAN fun humor!  Trivia, toons, & 4 great jokes!

Click Here To Visit Homepage
No Holds Barred!
Anything goes with the best in adult humor! Not trashy kids jokes but enjoyable outrageous laughs!
Pics-R-Uss!
A pic or toon direct to your in-box. Sent once a day, every day. Some adult content.
Jokes-R-Uss
Sent out every 4-5 days. Jokes, Fun stuff, and you can try to answer "Jays Brain Teaser".
Wavs-R-Uss
For adults who enjoy funny Songs/Parodies 4-5 times a week.
Your List Here?
Email
mrx@ezines4all.com for details of how to get your list here by joining our program where you run links to this site in your ezine.
Your List Here?
Email
mrx@ezines4all.com for details of how to get your list here by joining our program where you run links to this site in your ezine.

YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS:

Click Here For Our Full Index

If you've enjoyed this page then please be kind and visit our sponsors.

WHY NOT VISIT THESE OTHER GREAT SITES?

LOL Funny Pictures GagsPlus
Funny Videos! Stupid People
Celebrity Pics Cartoons By Gaspritz
Optical Illusions Extreme Funny Pictures
Valentine Cards Randon Fun Pages
Funny Funny Pictures Anti-Bored.com
Joke Email Celebrity Mugshots
HighSchoolHumor.com Aikens Laughs
Flash Cartoons FunFry.com
2funnypictures Pick The Worst
Humping Frog Funny Adult Jokes
Face War! Joke Around
Embarrassing Stories Info On Everything
Free ECards LABLaughs
Song Lyrics Buddy Icons
G-Wash.com Icon Planet
Quick Bites Recipes Joke Stop
More Links Your Link Here?

Please visit out other sites:
http://www.lablaughs.com - 11 Fun Email Lists with Massive Archives
 
http://www.yourlasthost.com - Fast, Affordable, Reliable Hosting... low cost Bandwidth
http://www.yourlisthost.com - Great value, great delivery email list hosting!

http://www.greatworldmedia.com - Revenue Opportunities For Webmasters
http://www.ezines4all.com - Fun Pages and Cartoons


FREE Banner Exchange: Generous 5/4 ratio!
Email to ask for full info!