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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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Presenting... The Worlds Largest... UNDERWEAR
These things are huge!
The possibilities are endless.. Great gag gift,
idea.
Hilarious for picnics and parties.. great
conversation
piece.. Or have Jared from Subway autograph them!
Whatever
you choose to do with them, they are sure to make
your
friends laugh every time!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus14.htm
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INTRODUCTION:
Recently I've had these cravings for toasted
turkey
sandwiches. Now the meat I'm buying is 99% fat
free and I'm
using white bread. I've not had big quantities but
normally
I don't eat any meat really and I've eaten 4 to 6
ounces of
turkey each day for about three days and I've got
stomach
cramps. Maybe I need to have a more balanced diet
but due
to my illnesses I have to be quite careful what I
eat as
my digestive system can't process meat that it
needs to
chew up too much so most red meat isn't good and
white
meat has to be very tender... not that I'm a great
meat
lover. Then we have the 'fat' issue. I can't
really eat fat
as it makes me ill, my pancreas seems to hate it.
It's
nothing to do with me needing to eat less fat too
lose
weight. For a 5 ft 9 inch guy 130 pounds is hardly
obese.
That leaves vegetables and I have a very valid
reason for
not eating them... they taste yucky!!!
Have a fabulous day... and go and toast a turkey
sandwich
in your George Foreman grill so we can all enjoy
the
taste sensation!
Phil
PS... If any of you have a website big or small
get in touch
with me and I'll see if we can get you earning
some (more)
money from it and getting some more traffic to it.
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QUICK JOKE
Have you heard about Kellogg's foray into the
medical
field? They have a new cereal specifically for men
with erectile dysfunction.
It's called "Nuttin' Raisin Honey"
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CARTOON TIME:
One Opposed
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/025.htm
Me Nude
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/026.htm
Personal Ads
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/027.htm
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FUN PAGE
Smart or dumb? Find out with todays two tests!
Are you a genius? Find out by taking a Free IQ
Test now!
http://frus-onket.com/1/c/22998/214869/365293/365293
Not so smart? Try our famous and funny Densa Test!
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/densa.htm
Random Fun Page...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/random.htm
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Get a free $2 coupon off your next purchase of
Advil
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/primary355.htm
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POTTY RULES
Staff Notice
With immediate effect, a toilet policy will be
established to provide a
more consistent method of accounting for staff,
ensuring effective time
management and equal treatment for all. On the
first day of every month,
all staff will be issued 20 toilet trip credits
which may be
accumulated.
The doors to all toilets will be equipped with
computer-linked voice
recognition devices. Staff must immediately
provide management with two
voiceprints, one normal and one under stress. Once
the employee's toilet
trip bank reaches zero, the doors of the toilet
will not unlock for the
employee's voice until the first of the month.
In addition, all cubicles are to be equipped with
timed paper-roll
extractors. If the toilet is occupied for more
than three minutes, an
alarm will sound. Thirty seconds later, the roll
of toilet paper will
retract into the dispenser, the toilet will flush
and the door will open
automatically. If the toilet remains occupied,
your photograph will be
taken by a security camera and will appear on the
Toilet Offenders
Board. Anyone appearing three times will forfeit
three months' toilet
trip credits. Anyone caught smiling when the
photograph is taken will
undergo counseling by a clinical psychologist.
Be advised that workmen's compensation insurance
does not cover any
injuries incurred while trying to stop the toilet
paper retracting into
the dispenser.
MANAGEMENT
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Click here for free heartburn information and
samples!
http://mocda.com/1/c/22998/213658/365293/365293
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EXPECTING
Three pregnant women are sitting in a cafe having
lunch, when one of
them says, "I know that I'm going to have a boy."
The other two women think about that for a moment,
and then one of them
says, "OK, how do you know you're going to have
a boy?"
"Well, when the child was conceived," says the
first women, "I was on
top. So I'm going to have a boy."
They sit and eat for a few minutes more, and then
the second woman says,
"Well, I'm going to have a girl."
"OK," says the first one, "how do you know you're
going to have a girl?"
"Well, when my child was conceived, I was on the
bottom. So I'm going to
have a girl."
They sit and eat for a few minutes more, the third
woman obviously
getting more and more distressed, until finally
she breaks down into
horrible sobbing?
"What's wrong, what's wrong?" the first two women
ask with concern.
The third woman manages to stifle her sobs long
enough to only say one
thing....
"I'm going to have a puppy!"
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Missing Important Calls While Online?
Why pay for a second phone line?
Try the CallWave Internet Answering Machine™
FREE for 30 days!
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