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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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Lawn Loonatix Garden Gnomes
Garden Gnomes are little characters for your
garden, but
work just as well in potted plants, on porches,
decks and
patios and well as make a great centerpiece for
any table!
Hand painted and made of heavy duty rubber your
Gnome will
bring a happiness and cheer for years and years to
come!
Don't just use your imagination, come and see
exactly what
each of these gnome titles really means...
Full Moon Gnome - The original mooning garden
gnome
Nature Call Gnome - You can't avoid mother nature
Pull! Gnomes - A little help from a friend is
always good!
Hunting for Worms Gnome (w/exposed butt) - Say no
to crack
Shoulder ride Gnomes - Good friends are hard to
find
Headstand Gnome - Gnomes have fun too
Can't decide? Buy them all and have a great
garden!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus12.htm
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INTRODUCTION:
A friend of mine has a little problem recently
after having
a bad day which I thought I'd have to share with
you:
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/1badday.htm
I've been eating nothing but toasted turkey
sandwiches the
last couple of days. Bernard Mathews do lovely
pre-packed
sage & onion turkey which is just great made into
a
sandwich and then toasted in the George Foreman
grill! I
think I must be needing the protein or something.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a
whore ?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party...
and a bitch sleeps
with everyone at the party....... except you.
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CARTOON TIME:
Not Enough Holes
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/022.htm
Flooding Water Bed
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/023.htm
Thought Sharing
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/024.htm
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FUN PAGE
Here is one of the most soppy pages I've ever
seen. Sick
buckets out... but another one of these pages that
some
people can't get enough of.
Shopping With Angels...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/angelshop.htm
Random Fun Page...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/random.htm
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Search for a Degree online at DirectScholar and
you could
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STATUE
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard
her husband
opening the front door.
"Hurry!" she said, "Stand in the corner." She
quickly rubbed
baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with
talcum
powder.
"Don't move until I tell you to." she whispered.
"Just
pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, honey?" the husband asked as he
entered the
room.
"Oh, it's just a statue." she replied
nonchalantly. "The
Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked the
idea so
much, I got one for us, too."
No more was said about the "statue".
Later that night when they went to sleep. Around
two in the
morning the husband got out of bed, went into the
kitchen,
and returned with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here." he said to the 'statue'. "Eat this. I
stood like an
idiot at the Smiths for three days and nobody
offered me so
much as a glass of water."
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SMART GUYS
A young boy is down at a popular secluded beach,
the south
end of which permits nude bathing.
After much wandering around with wide-eyed wonder,
the boy
approaches his father and says "Dad, why do some
men have
little cocks, and other men have big cocks?
Taken aback, but quick with an answer, the well
endowed
father replies "Well son, it's like this. All the
men with
big cocks are really smart, and all of the men
with small
cocks are dumb bastards!"
The boy nods, and pauses to digest this new
information.
Dad says "where's your mum?"
The boy replies "She's down behind the bushes with
some
dumb guys, but they're getting smarter by the
minute!"
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