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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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JokeVelopes - Hilarious PRANK envelopes!
Send your friends (or enemies) mail that looks
like it's
coming from:
Old Farts Retirement Home - Venereal Disease
Control Center
Erectile Dysfunction Clinic - Breast Enlargement
Clinic
Stock Trading Violation - Golf Course Protection
Agency
Masturbators Anonymous - Proctology Clinic
Kiss-Ass Awards - Deportation Notice
Dumb Blondes Club - Big Butts Club
... And many more!
Hilarious PRANK ENVELOPES you can send through the
regular
mail! These look so real they'll fool your
mother.. but we
don't recommend playing pranks on her. She brought
you into
this world, and by god she can take you out too!
We've done
all the work for you, even stamped it - all you
need to do
is address it, and toss it in the mail - it's that
easy!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus09.htm
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INTRODUCTION:
I hope you're having a great Saturday. Mine hasn't
been to
great so far as I was ill in the night and didn't
sleep too
well and am feeling quite ill at the moment. On
the plus
note I could be a whole lot worse so I shouldn't
complain.
So, I think I'll just pick myself up, shake myself
off and
smile!
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/bigsmile.htm
I hope that this Saturday edition gives you
something to
keep you off the streets and out of trouble for a
while.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
One day the first grade teacher was reading the
story of
Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part
of the
story where Chicken Little tried to warn the
farmer. She
read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the
farmer and
said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher
paused then and asked the class, "And what do you
think that
farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and
said, "I
think he said: .... 'Holy Shit! . . A talking
chicken!'"
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CARTOON TIME:
Kids Respect
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/013.htm
Being Politically Correct
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/014.htm
Think Before You Speak
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200408/015.htm
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FUN PAGE
Rack contest
http://www.rudefun.com/c.php?id=251
Experience An Orgasm...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/orgasm.htm
Random Fun Page...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/random.htm
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CUCUMBER, PICKLE AND PENIS TALK
A cucumber, a pickle and a penis were all sitting
around
one day talking about how much their lives sucked.
The cucumber said, "Man, my life sucks. Whenever I
get big,
fat, and juicy, someone cuts me up and puts me in
a salad."
So, the pickle looks at him and says, "You think
you have it
bad? Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, someone
puts me in
vinegar, puts spices on me and sticks me in a
jar."
The penis glared at them both and said, "You guys
think you
have it rough? Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy,
they put
a rubber tarp over my head, stick me in a dark
room, and bang
my head against the wall until I throw up and pass
out."
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FREE DRINKS
A man in a bar downs a few beers, and the
bartender tells
him he owes $6.
“But I paid, don’t you remember?” the customer
asks.
“OK,” the bartender says. “If you say you paid,
you did.”
The man leaves and tells the first guy he sees
that the
bartender can’t keep track of whether his
customers have
paid for their drinks.
The second man rushes in, orders a beer and pulls
the same
stunt.
The bartender replies, “If you say you paid, I’ll
take your
word for it.”
That customer soon goes into the street, sees an
old friend
and tells him how to get free drinks.
The man hurries in and starts downing a beer.
The bartender leans over and says, “You know, a
funny thing
happened in here tonight.
Two guys were drinking, neither paid and both
claimed that
they did. The next guy who tries that is going to
get his
ass kicked.”
“Don’t bother me with your troubles,” the man
responds.
“Just give me my change, and I’ll be on my way.”
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