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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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Mr. Wonderful Talking Romantic Doll!
Press his hand and he says 16 different things to
make you
feel you are the most wonderful woman on Earth:
"You know honey, why don't you just relax and let
me make
dinner tonight."
"The ball game isn't really that important, I'd
rather
spend time with you."
"Why don't we go to the mall, didn't you want some
new shoes?"
"You know, I think it's really important that we
talk
about our relationship."
"You've been on my mind all day. That's why I
bought you
these flowers."
Click below to listen to him online before you
buy:
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus03.htm
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INTRODUCTION:
Who would think up a product like the product just
above?
A Mr. Wonderful Talking Doll, aren't all men
wonderful?
I know I say lovely things like that... maybe
somebody
secretly modeled the doll on me while I wasn't
looking?
Does Mr Wonderful sound like your man? Visit the
site and
have a listen to some of the phrases, have a look
at him
and let me know.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
An accident really uncanny,
Befell an unfortunate granny.
She sat down in a chair
While her false teeth were there,
And bit herself right in the fanny!
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CARTOON TIME:
The Trouble With Spinach
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/076.htm
Riding My Ass
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/077.htm
Caught By Surprise
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/078.htm
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FUN PAGE
I know it's a little out of season, but I'm
strange and this
game's fun, so just enjoy it!
Santa Balls 2...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/SBalls2/index.htm
Random Fun Page...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/random.htm
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Save BIG with: Grocery Coupons, Free Samples, Baby
Coupons,
Travel Coupons, Beauty Coupons, FREE STUFF!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/primary7.htm
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FANCY DRESS PARTY
A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a
Halloween
party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to
hide his head
and his leg so he writes to a costume company to
explain his
problem.
A few days later he received a parcel with the
following note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The
spotted
handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with
your wooden
leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have
emphasized
his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of
complaint. A week
goes by and he receives another parcel and a note,
which says:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe
will cover
your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will
really look
the part.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.
Now the man is really upset since they have gone
from
emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald
head so
again he writes the company another nasty letter
of complaint.
The next day he gets a small parcel and a note,
which reads:
Dear Sir,
Please find the enclosed bottle of molasses. Pour
the
molasses over your bald head, stick your wooden
leg up your
ass and go as a caramel apple.
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Like Shopping and expressing your opinion?
Join ECNresearch today for a chance to do both.
Voice your opinions and enter for a chance to win
a $500
Shopping Spree.
It’s totally FREE
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/primary327.htm
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RIBBONS
A woman is chatting with her friends at the beauty
parlor one
afternoon about their husbands and other pressing
issues. One
woman tells her friends about how her husband is
constantly
getting liquored up at night. When he comes home,
he passes
out and snores at such a high volume that she is
unable to sleep.
Luckily for her, one of the other wives had gone
through the
same ordeal and found a solution. "Here's what you
need to do.
After he falls asleep, take a piece of ribbon and
tie it around
his pecker. I've done it to my husband hundreds of
times and it
has yet to fail me."
Figuring she had nothing to lose, the troubled
wife decided to
give it a shot.
As usual, the husband had gone out with the boys
to get sauced.
As the wife layed in bed, her dog climbed in next
to her and
fell asleep. As he did, he began to snore. The
wife decided to
test the theory, hoping it would work on animals
as well. She
took a piece of red ribbon and tied it around the
dog's piece.
Sure enough, the snoring stopped!
The wife was amazed and was eager to test it out
on her husband.
Hours later, the husband staggered through the
front door and
passed out on the living room couch. His immediate
roaring snore
awoke the wife. She took a piece of blue ribbon
and tied it
around her husband's member. As expected, the
snoring stopped!
The next morning, groggy and aching, the husband
awoke to find
the dog next to him on the couch, a red ribbon
tied around its
pecker. He felt a slight discomfort around his
own, and looked
down to find the blue one wrapped around it.
The man looked at the dog and said, "I don't know
what happened
or what we did last night, but it looks like we
took first and
second place."
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