| |
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
* ~ * ~ *
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
Sometimes when you (click), you really can click!
Visit iMatchup today.
Your match is waiting :)
Thousands of people every day are turning to
iMatchup.com to help them connect with that
special someone. Our membership is easy to
use and offers a variety of ways for singles just
like you to meet someone.
So, don't wait any longer, singles are out there
waiting to click with you!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/primary336.htm
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
INTRODUCTION:
Welcome back after the weekend. I'm going to try
and start
to publish earlier in the day but no promises. I'm
running
late today so I'll keep this short. I have a
dental
appointment tomorrow which I'm sure will be
unpleasant.
I hate anything that involves poking and proding
sensitive
places with any kind of metal object. I hate
getting my
prostate examined, I hate getting an endoscopy and
I
refuse to get a colonoscopy... and I would hate
them to do
the 1st immediately after the 2nd using the same
equipment.
Phil
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
QUICK JOKE
Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a
whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a
bitch
sleeps with everyone at the party except you.
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
CARTOON TIME:
Bad Way To Kill Fish
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/070.htm
Not Something To Admit
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/071.htm
The Queen Takes A Day Off
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/072.htm
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
FUN PAGE
A 'Super Mario' type platform game. This sort of
game was
really popular 15 years ago... not sure about now
though.
Save The Sheriff...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/savethesheriff/index.htm
Random Fun Page...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/random.htm
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
Check out this awesome deal!
You can get a KitchenAid Stand Mixer for FREE!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/primary192.htm
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
HONG KONG DONG
A man goes to his doctor and complains that his
penis is
developing a bend in the middle. So the doctor ran
a series
of tests, and had the man return to his office to
report the
results.
"Have you been in the Far East recently, within
the last
year or so?"
"Why, yes," replied the man.
"And did you have sex while over there?"
The man looked worried. "Well, yes, once or
twice."
The doctor's face got a grave expression on it.
"That's what
I was afraid of. You have a new disease that's
just starting
to spread in this country. It's called 'Hong Kong
Dong.'"
The man gulped. "What do you do for it? Is there a
cure?"
"Well, sort of. You see, there is no way to cure
the disease,
but you must have an operation."
"An operation? What kind of operation?"
"We cut off your penis."
"Wow! Do you mind if I get a second opinion?"
The doctor replied, "Of course not. In something
of such a
serious nature as this, I think you should get a
second and
a third opinion!"
The man consulted a urologist who told him
essentially the
same story, diagnosis, prognosis, and recommended
treatment.
He was understandably upset, so he asked the
second doctor
to recommend another doctor for his third opinion.
The
urologist suggested that, since this disease
originated in
the Far East that he travel there, as the Asian
doctors
might know more about it.
Mr. Unlucky promptly booked passage on an airline
for Hong
Kong, where he received an immediate consultation
with that
Crown Colony's most eminent physician. After a
series of
tests, he awaited the verdict. The doctor entered
the
examining room.
"Well, is it Hong Kong Dong?" he inquired, unable
to wait.
"Yes."
"And is it really incurable?"
"Yes, there is no known cure."
The man's face crumpled as he fought back tears.
"And am I
going to have an operation? Will they have to cut
off my
penis?"
At that the man was astonished to see the doctor
break into
laughter.
"What's so funny, Doc? You mean I don't have to
have
surgery?"
As the doctor regained control of himself, he
managed to
choke out, "Oh, those American doctors! Cut,
clamp, sew!
Surgery, surgery, all they can think of is
surgery!"
"I don't have to have my penis cut off?" The man
was
overjoyed.
"Of course not! Just wait a couple more weeks, and
it'll
fall off by itself!"
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
Sign up now at landroverusa.com/LR3 to receive
insider
status and exclusive updates, previews and
information as
the Land Rover LR3 story unfolds.
http://frus-onket1.com/1/c/22998/197313/363633/363633
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
MIXING UP LAB RESULTS
Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect
his wife's
test results.
Receptionist: "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been
a bit of
a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the
samples
from your wife to the lab, the samples from
another Mrs.
Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain
which one
is your wife's. Frankly, that's either bad or
terrible."
Mr. Smith: "What do you mean?"
Receptionist: "Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested
positive
for Alzheimer disease and the other for AIDS. We
can't
tell which is your wife."
Mr. Smith: "That's terrible! Can we do the test
over?"
Receptionist: "Normally, yes. But you have an HMO,
and
they won't pay for these expensive tests more than
once."
Mr. Smith: "Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
Receptionist: "The HMO recommends that you drop
your wife
off in the middle of town. If she finds her way
home,
don't sleep with her."
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
FREE 50 MP3s and 2-week trial from eMusic.
Designed for avid music fans, eMusic offers
professional
quality MP3s at the lowest prices. Start
discovering new
music today with your free trial. 50 MP3s are
yours to
keep just for trying eMusic!
http://mocda.com/1/c/22998/205683/363638/363638
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- |
