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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
Welcome to Tuesday... have fun!
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QUICK JOKE
"Will the father be present during the birth?"
asked
the obstetrician solicitously.
"Nah," replied the mother to be. "He and my
husband
don't get along."
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CARTOON TIME:
Love Birds and Lust Birds
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/061.htm
Taking An Interest
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/062.htm
I Don't Want To See It
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/063.htm
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FUN PAGE
A nice fun game, quite tricky... if only they'd
used this
to teach maths at school.
Rocket Man...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/rocketman/index.htm
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DAMN KIDS
A first grade teacher had a small number of
children
gathered around a table for a reading group.
After the story was read she gave the children a
work
sheet to do.
She thought they may have some problems so wanted
them to work on it there.
She heard a little girl say very softly "damn!".
The teacher leaned over and said quietly,"We don't
say
that in school."
The little girl looked at the teacher, her eyes
got very
big and she said, "Not even when things are all
fucked up?!"
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SEX LAWS
In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to
make love
while hunting or fishing on your wedding day. No
man is
allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of
garlic,
onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria,
Minnesota.
If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must
brush
his teeth.
Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames,
Iowa, he
isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of
beer while
lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his
arms.
Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual
activity
between members of the opposite sex in the front
yard of
a home after sundown -- if they're nude.
(Apparently, if
you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)
In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room
is
required to have twin beds. And the beds must
always be a
minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a
room for
only one night. And it's illegal to make love on
the
floor between the beds!
The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is
required to provide each guest with a clean and
pressed
nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married,
may
sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex
unless
they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton
nightshirts.
An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically
bans
couples from having sex while standing inside a
store's
walk-in meat freezer! A state law in Illinois
mandates
that all bachelors should be called master, not
mister,
when addressed by their female counterparts.
In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without
wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job
-- for
men only -- called a corset inspector.) However,
in
Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from
wearing
corsets because "the privilege of admiring the
curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman
should not
be denied to the normal, red-blooded American
male."
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur
d'Alene,
Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up
and knock
on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks
that sex
is taking place must drive up from behind, honk
his horn
three times and wait approximately two minutes
before
getting out of his car to investigate.
Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a
woman can't
dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has
on at
least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid
satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If
the horn
accidentally sounds while they are frolicking
behind the
wheel, the couple can face a jail term. In
Carlsbad, New
Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a
parked
vehicle during their lunch break from work, as
long as the
car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers
from
peeking in.
A Florida sex law: If you're a single, divorced,
or widowed
woman, you can't parachute on Sunday afternoons.
Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes
in
Cleveland, Ohio -- a man might see the reflection
of
something "he oughtn't!"
No woman may have sex with a man while riding in
an
ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton,
Utah. If
caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual
misdemeanor
and "her name is to be published in the local
newspaper."
The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.
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