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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
Welcome to the start of another working week, kick
back and
relax as the nights come quicker and quicker and
last
longer.
Every American I speak to says they have to worry
about the
telephone lines and electricity when they have bad
weather.
What I want to know is why they don't have the
cables
underground where they're safe like we do? Our
phones and
electricity never go out no matter what the
weather because
they're underground out of the way of the
elements.
Take Care
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
A lady called a music store about a recording, but
dialed
wrong and connected with an auto mechanic instead.
She asked, "Do you have two lips and seven
kisses?"
He said, "No..But I have two balls and seven
inches."
She responded, "Is that a record?"
He said, "No...But it's a damn good average"
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CARTOON TIME:
CRS Syndrome
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/040.htm
Old Age Problems
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/041.htm
The Obese Trapeze Artist
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/042.htm
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FUN PAGE
Martha's New Prison Home...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/martha.htm
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LITTLE PAPER BAG
A little paper bag was feeling unwell, so he took
himself
off to the doctor's.
"Doctor, I don't feel too good," said the little
paper bag.
"Hmm, you look OK to me," said the Doctor, "but
I'll do a
blood test and see what that shows, come back and
see me in
a couple of days."
The little paper bag felt no better when he got
back for
the results.
"What's wrong with me?" asked the little paper
bag.
"I'm afraid you are HIV positive!" said the
doctor.
"No, I can't be - I'm just a little paper bag!"
said the
little paper bag.
"Have you been having unprotected sex?" asked the
doctor.
"NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a
little paper
bag!"
"Well have you been sharing needles with other
intravenous
drug users?" asked the doctor.
"NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a
little paper
bag!"
"Perhaps you've been abroad recently and required
a jab or
a blood transfusion?" queried the doctor.
"NO, I don't have a passport - I'm just a little
paper bag!"
"Well", said the doctor, "are you in a homosexual
relationship?"
"NO! I told you I can't do things like that, I'm
just a
little paper bag!"
"Then there can be only one explanation." said the
doctor
"Your mother must have been a carrier..."
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SUGGESTIONS FOR AIRLINES
Federal Aviation Agency
800 Independence Avenue S.W.
Washington DC. 20591
Dear Sirs,
I have the solution for the prevention of
hijackings,
and at the same time getting our airline industry
back
on its feet.
Since men of the Muslim religion are not allowed
to
look at naked women we should replace all of our
female flight attendants with strippers.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for
fear
of seeing a naked woman, and of course, every
businessman in this country would start flying
again
in hope of seeing a naked woman. Hijackings would
end
and the airline
industry would have record sales.
Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have
to
do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
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