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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
Please visit the ad above to vote on whether or
not the USA
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QUICK JOKE
There once was a man named Mort
Whose dick was incredibly short
When he climbed into bed
His lady friend said
"That's not a dick it's a wart"
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CARTOON TIME:
The Answer
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Sunday With A Lonely Guy
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Wanting To Buy A Computer
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FUN PAGE
Married Women Who Will Not Hyphenate Their Last
Names...
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I found a great page that lets you 'Build Your Own
Bush'.
It's really funny as you can mess around with
different
hairstyles, eyes, smiles and facial hair for
George Bush
and see what he'd look like.
Check it out at
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A BED FOR THE NIGHT
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob.
They loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north.
After
driving for a few hours, they got caught in a
terrible
blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked
the
attractive lady who answered the door if they
could spend
the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I
have this
huge house all to myself, but I'm recently
widowed," she
explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if
I let you
stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep
in the
barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at
first
light." The lady agreed, and the two men found
their way to
the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they
got on their
way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected
letter from
an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure
it out, but
he finally determined that it was from the
attorney of that
attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob,
do you
remember that good-looking widow from the farm we
stayed at
on our ski holiday up North?"
"Yes, I do." said Bob
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the
night, go up
to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being
found out.
"I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to use my name instead of
telling her
your name?"
Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry,
buddy. I'm
afraid I did. Why do you ask?
"She just died and left me everything."
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GOD TEACHING ADAM
One day God and Adam were walking the garden.
God told Adam it was time to populate the earth.
He told Adam, "Adam, you can start by kissing
Eve."
Adam replied "God, what is a kiss?"
God told Adam and Adam went and took behind the
bush and kissed her.
A little while later, Adam came back out with a
big
smile and said "Wow Lord! That was great!! What
next?"
God said, "Adam, I now want you to caress Eve."
Adam says, "Lord what is caress?"
God explained it to Adam and he again took her
behind the bush.
A little while later, he came out and said "Lord
that was even better than a kiss! What next."
God said, "Here is what gets the deed done. I now
want you to take Eve and make love to her."
Adam said "Lord, what is make love?"
God explained and Adam took Eve behind the bush
and a few seconds later came out and said "Lord,
what is a headache?"
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