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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
Well, it's getting towards the weekend now so it's
time for
you to have a look at this...
Hogs And Kisses...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/weekend.htm
Hopefully I'll get your weekend off to a really
good start
tomorrow and for the rest of you I'll still be
around to
keep you company for the weekend.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
There was a young athlete named Grimmon
Who developed a new way of swimmin':
By a marvelous trick
He would row with his prick,
Which attracted loud cheers from the women.
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CARTOON TIME:
Leave Him Alone
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/031.htm
I.V. Viagra
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/032.htm
Downsizing
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/033.htm
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FUN PAGE
I came accross a poor guy who's looking for a home
swap
with someone. He's sick of sharing his apartment
with four
others. Read his sad story and view the conditions
he has
to live in at the following link...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/swap.htm
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THREE DEMANDS
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining
a wealthy
foreign ambassador during lunch at a very
expensive
restaurant in uptown New York.
The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and
presence
of this secretary that he asked her to marry him.
The
secretary was startled, but remembered that her
boss told
her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so she
decided to
let him down easy.
"I'll only marry you under three conditions."
"Anything, anything," said the ambassador.
"First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding
band with
a 72 carat diamond, along with a 28 inch studded
matching
necklace for our engagement."
Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his
cellular
phone, called his personal accountant, told him
the
instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!"
The secretary thought that her first request was
too easy,
so she thought of a more difficult situation.
"Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion
in the
richest part of the Poconos along with a 40 acre
summer
home in the sweetest vineyards of Italy."
The ambassador picked up his phone, called his
personal
broker in New York, then called another broker in
Italy,
and after his quick conversation, he said, "Yes,
yes, I
build, I build!"
The secretary was very startled, and knew she must
think
of a final request that would be impossible to
live up to.
"Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you
have a 10
inch penis."
A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped
his face in
his hands.
After weeping in his native language for a few
minutes, the
ambassador slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok,
ok, I cut,
I cut!"
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ASSICONS
We all know those cute little computer symbols
called
"emoticons," where:
:) means a smile and
:( is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by :-) and :-(
respectively.
Well, how about some "assicons"? Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass
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