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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
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INTRODUCTION:
Well, here we are again back to normality
hopefully. I'm
sure you've missed me putting the worlds to rights
whilst
I was away on vacation and also busy at the
doctors.
My vacation was great, the weather wasn't but I'm
not
interested in that. The hotel staff were friendly
and the
food was good (for all I could eat of it).
On Monday I had to see my doctor about a few
things as I've
not attended recently, there was that much to get
through
that we had to arrange for me to go back next week
again.
It's fortunate that in this country it's free to
attend
your doctor as often as you need to and it's also
fortunate
my doctors is just round the corner from me. I
hear such
terrible stories about health care from around the
World
that is just makes me so glad to be ill in
Scotland :-)
I have so much more to tell you all but that will
just
have to wait because I'm keeping you from your
jokes and
toons.
Catch you same time same place tomorrow!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
The handsome construction worker considered
himself quite,
the stud, and indeed had no trouble persuading a
good-looking recent acquaintance to come back to
his
apartment.
After making love to her, he rolled over and lit a
cigarette. His self-satisfied smile vanished,
however, when
the woman hopped out of bed and snapped, "You may
look like
Mel Gibson, but you're lousy in the sack."
The indignant fellow snapped, "I don't see what
makes you
such an expert after only forty-five seconds!"
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CARTOON TIME:
Inheritance
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/028.htm
Waiting In Line
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/029.htm
Beggar Caught Out
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/030.htm
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FUN PAGE
Fowl Words...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/fowlwords/index.htm
Magic Card Trick...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/cards.htm
And if you've not seen it yet you HAVE to see the
JibJab
cartoon before they take it off the internet or
start
charging people to see it...
http://www.ezines4all.com/links/thisland.htm
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FREE SEX WITH FILL-UP
A gas station in Mississippi was trying to
increase it's
sales so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex
with
Fill-up."
Soon a local "redneck" pulled in, filled his tank,
and then
asked for his free sex.
The owner told him pick a number from 1 to 10, if
he guessed
correctly, he would get his Free sex.
The buyer then guessed 8, the proprietor said,
"You were
close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."
A week later, the same redneck, along with a
buddy, Dubya,
pulled in for a fill-up, again he asked for his
free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and
asked him
to guess the correct number.
The redneck guessed 2 this time, again the
proprietor said,
"Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex
this time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his
buddy, "I
think that game is rigged and he doesn't really
give away
free sex."
Dubya replied, "No it ain't Billy Bob, it's not
rigged, my
wife won twice last week."
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MEN AND WOMEN INVENTING
Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.
Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.
Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.
Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.
Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.
Man discovered woman, invented sex.
Woman discovered sex, invented headache.
Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, and it was a complete mess
after that.
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