| |
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
* ~ * ~ *
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
Are you out of dough even though you just got
paid?
No worries. We can get 500 bucks to you by
tomorrow.
Use the money anyway you like:
* Pay off bills
* Cover tuition
* Buy groceries
* Repair your car
Your cash advance is electronically deposited
directly into
your checking account within 24 hours.
No home ownership or credit check required. The
only
collateral you need is a steady paycheck and an
active
checking account.
Apply today and you can have 500 dollars by
tomorrow.
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/primary54.htm
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
INTRODUCTION:
It was pouring today and I got absolutely soaked.
We
wouldn't have been out other than the fact we had
to get
some stuff for going away on holiday tomorrow.
We're going to Peterhead for a few days. I'm
hoping that my
team of trained monkeys will, between them, be
able to
provide you with your usual jokes.
Phil
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
QUICK JOKE
Never hold your farts in.... They travel up your
spine,
into your brain, and that's where you get shitty
ideas from.
(So that explains women never farting out loud).
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
CARTOON TIME:
Look At My Headlights
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/010.htm
If Women Controlled Medicine
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/011.htm
Mighty Mouse
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/012.htm
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
FUN PAGE
Such a frustrating game, make sure you're very
careful and
land very slowly or you crash out of control!
Monkey Lander...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/monkeylander/index.htm
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
New drug that is better than Viagra, get a free
sample of
Cialis now.
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/primary308.htm
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
SOBBING HUSBAND
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find
her husband
missing from their bed. In the stillness of the
house, she
could hear a muffled sound downstairs.
She went downstairs and looked all around, finally
finding
her husband in the basement, crouched in the
corner,
facing the wall, and sobbing.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked him.
"Remember when your father caught us having sex
when you
were 16?" he replied. "And remember he said I had
two
choices: I could either marry you, or spend the
next 20
years in prison."
Baffled, she said, "Yes, I remember, so what?"
"I would have been released today."
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
If your sick and tired of the heat!!
This could be the most important letter you read
this year!! You can
find out in this letter how to reduce heat stress
and improve your life
and the life of those you care about!! with a Body
Cooling Vest.
Make your Body Cooling Vest cheaply for about $15.
A
Decent Cool Vest retails for around $180. Get
better results
at work and feel better at the same time.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/74367436
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
THE LITTLE FIREMAN
A fireman looked out of the firehouse window and
noticed a
little boy playing on the sidewalk. He had small
ladders hung
on the side of his little red wagon, and a garden
hose coiled
up in it. He was wearing a fireman's hat.
He had the wagon tied to his dog, so that the dog
could pull
the wagon. The fireman thought this was really
cute, so he went
out and told the little boy what a great looking
fire truck he
had.
As he did, he noticed that the dog was tied to the
wagon by his
testicles. The fireman said, "Son, I don't want to
tell you
how to run your fire company or anything, but I
think if you
would tie that rope around the dog's neck you
would go faster."
"Maybe so," said the little boy, "but then I'd
lose my siren!"
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
BodyShape by HydroDerm can help you Erase That
Cellulite!
BodyShape is the only product clinically proven
to:
*Reduce Cellulite & Diminish Stretch Marks
*Increase Metabolism in Body Fat Cells
*Leave Skin Smoother
*Improve Skin Tone
BodyShape has been featured on TV, Radio, and in
magazine publications across the country
Try it today FREE!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/primary277.htm
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- |
