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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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Raising Nemo
"Announcing a brand new guide that shows you
everything you
need to know about clownfish for less than you
would spend
on a pair of clownfish!"
Do you own a clownfish or are you thinking about
buying a
clownfish?
Have your kids watched a clownfish movie and now
they won't
sleep until you get them a clownfish?
Have you ever searched the Internet for clownfish
information and become discouraged at the poor
quality and
difficult to navigate information you've found?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions
then you'll
love this new product:
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/recipetips
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INTRODUCTION:
I had to spend five minutes last night shouting my
head off
trying to get my Mums attention after she
accidently dialled
my number on her movile/cell phone while it was in
her
handbag/purse. It didn't work so as she was having
a
conversation with my sister at the time which I
could hear I
had to phone my sister to tell her to tell my Mum
to hang
her phone up
Hasn't she ever heard of key lock? They are really
needed if
you aren't going to constantly dial people on your
speed
dials every time your phone presses against
something.
Speaking of phones, I got a new one a couple of
weeks ago
after my old one was stolen and I'm really chuffed
with it
as it has Java games and a video camera and an MP3
player
to keep me amused.
Looks like it's the end of another working week,
have a
great weekend.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Dear Abby says that you are addicted to sex if you
have sex more than three times a day, and that you
should seek professional help.
I have news for Dear Abby:
The only way I am going to get sex 3 times a day
is IF
I seek *professional* help
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CARTOON TIME:
What Are You Shaking For?
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/004.htm
Leaving In A Hurry
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/005.htm
Randy Rabbit
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/006.htm
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FUN PAGE
The Chinese obsession that is 'Mahjongg' was a
game that,
until today, I'd never played. It was quite fun
but I don't
see myself becoming in any way addicted to it. See
how you
feel... warning you MUST read the instructions
first
otherwise you'll be completely lost like I was.
Mahjongg...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/mahjongg/index.htm
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The Single Mom's Survival Guide
Bethanny Davis draws on her own experience as a
single
mom to share helpful advice with readers.
Are you a single mom?
Me too. I've been raising two kids on my own for
about two
and a half years now. It hasn't always been easy,
but when
my daughter comes up behind me to hug me and tell
me I'm
the best mom in the world, it sure is worth it!
I've learned a lot since I've been on my own. I've
had to.
Now I'd like to share what I've learned with
others.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/writergirl
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NEEDING A WASHROOM
Out on the town one night, a young lad
successfully chats up an
attractive female, and they go back to her place.
"You can't
make any noise," she warns him. "My parents are
upstairs and if
they find out they'll kill us!"
Things start getting heated on the sofa, but after
a while
alcohol gets the better of the man. "I need a
washroom," he
says.
"Well you can't go upstairs, it's right next to my
parents'
bedroom," she replies. "Use the kitchen sink."
So he dutifully retires to the kitchen. A few
minutes later, he
pops his head round the door and asks, "Do you
have any toilet
paper?"
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50 years ago, John Perez poured on his garden by
mistake, a product that
we all have in our kitchens today. Days later, he
saw that it was
effective to kill insects...
Happy with his discovery, he tried over the years,
hundreds of product
combinations in order to evaluate their effects.
From these experiences, he created dozens of
recipes that enabled him to
eliminate insect infestation in indoor and outdoor
situations for
good... without using commercial products!
After years of new improvements, he reveals --FOR
YOUR OWN USE-- the
best recipes to get rid of harmful insects and to
transform your lawn
into the greenest grass of your dreams.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/shine1
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NEWLYWEDS
On their first night to be together, the newlywed
couple go
to change.
The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all
showered and
wearing her beautiful robe! The proud husband
says, "My
dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."
The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he
is
astonished. "Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My
God you
are so beautiful, let me take your picture."
Puzzled she asks, "MY picture?"
He answers, "Yes, my dear, so I can carry your
beauty next
to my heart forever."
She smiles and he takes her picture and then he
heads into
the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his
robe and
the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are
married
now."
At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims,
"OH, OH,
OH MY, let me get a picture."
He beams and asks, "Why?"
She answers, "SO I CAN GET IT ENLARGED!"
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Pregnancy does NOT need to be a struggle - you
don't need to
feel FAT, UNATTRACTIVE and UNCOMFORTABLE. In
"Pregnancy
Without Pounds" I'll show you:
*How to avoid unwanted excess pounds.
*Exactly what exercises get you fit and toned
*How to have an easy labor and quick recovery
*Exactly what you need to do now to lose weight
fast after
delivery.
Secrets to minimize stretch marks and cellulite.
How to
crackdown on food cravings (and why you're having
them).
Secrets to looking and feeling like a sexy mama
And much, much more...
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/pregnopnds
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