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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
I want to bring a smile to your faces to day and a
perfect
thing to start the process is this page with some
words to
live by...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/words.htm
Have a great day!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
The local bookstore had this huge display with a
sign
advertising, "Newly Translated From the Original
French: 37 Mating Positions." The book was already
wrapped in plain brown wrapper and I just had to
buy
one.
Once safely at home and alone, I opened it and
found
that I had just purchased an expensive book about
chess.
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CARTOON TIME:
Wet Floor
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/001.htm
Can I Be Next Please?
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/002.htm
Subliminal Message
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200407/003.htm
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FUN PAGE
Here's a new game for you:
Lunar Command...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/lunarcommand/index.htm
Once you're bored with that... which didn't take
me long
because it's either rubbish or just not my kind of
game I'd
recommend you have a little play on...
Letter Rip...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/letterrip/index.htm
And FUN for the men with our 'Male Hypnotic Tool'
otherwise
known as PUPPIES!!!
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/mht.htm
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ANIMAL HUSBANDRY
A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one
evening; she was
knitting, he was reading the latest issue of
Animal Husbandry. He
looks up from the page and says to her,
"Did you know that humans are the only species in
which the
female achieves orgasm?"
She looks at him wistfully, smiles, and replies,
"Oh yeah? Why
don't you prove it."
He frowns for a moment, then he gets up and walks
out, leaving
his wife with a confused look on her face.
About a half an hour later, he returns all tired
and sweaty and
proclaims, "Well I'm pretty sure the cow and sheep
didn't, but
the way that pig's always squealing, how can you
tell?"
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WELCOME PARTY
Jack, a New York stockbroker, decides to chuck it
all and buy a
ranch. He finds a big place in Montana, far away
from everything,
and moves in.
After a few weeks of blissful solitude, Jack is
sitting on his
front porch, and he sees a pickup truck driving up
his road. A
cowboy sort gets out of the truck and introduces
himself,
"Hey there, my name's Tom, and I came to welcome
you to our neck
of the world. I live about 20 miles from here, so
I guess I'm
your nearest neighbor."
Jack shakes the cowboy's hand and says, "Thanks
for the welcome,
I sure have enjoyed my stay so far."
Tom leans against the railing and says, "You know,
I'm having a
party at my place tomorrow night, if you'd like to
come, we could
sorta turn it into a welcome party for you."
Jack smiles, "I'd like that."
Tom looks thoughtful, "I ought to warn you though,
there'll be
some serious drinkin goin' on"
"No problem" says jack "I can knock 'em back with
the best of
them"
"Well there might be some fightin' goin' on too"
"Hey, I may be a city boy but I can handle
myself," says jack
"And there's probably gonna be some serious
fornicatin' goin' on"
Jack grins wide, "Now you're talking! What should
I wear?"
Tom shrugs, "Well, it's just gonna be you and me,
so I guess you
can wear whatever you want..."
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