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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
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INTRODUCTION:
Lots of AOL users have been writing to me saying
that
they've been receiving messages telling them that
mail to
them is bouncing yet they've been getting every
issue. What
is happening is that when mail bounces the server
attempts
to deliver the mail again and usually it gets
through on the
2nd attempt. The 'ezmlm' is a probe to check that
your
mailbox is active. You can ignore these messages
because the
fact that you receive them prooves that your mail
is ok.
I've also been experimenting recently with
Interstitial ads,
these are big ads you see when you click on a link
and there
is a delay in you going to the page you want to.
I've now
taken these down as I think they cause annoyance
when people
are trying to browse the site. I will use them
only on some
external links from now on.
As this is Sunday and nobody bothers reading this
on a Sunday
I'll repeat all this tomorrow too :-)
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer. The
bartender
informed him that he was not allowed to serve
alcohol to
drunken patrons.
After a few harsh words, the bartender suggested
to the
drunk to prove he wasn't drunk by doing twenty
push-ups on
the floor.
As he was doing the push-ups, another drunk
staggers into
the bar and sees this guy on the floor doing
push-ups.
He looks at him for a minute and then kicks him in
the ribs
saying, "Fella, I think your girl friend has gone
home."
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Stay Off My Ass...
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FUN PAGE
The Angry Button...
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ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a
baby. The
preacher went to the congregation and asked for a
raise.
After much consideration and discussion, they
passed a rule
that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so
would his
paycheck.
After six children, this started to get expensive
and the
congregation decided to hold another meeting to
discuss
the preacher's salary.
There was much yelling and bickering about how
much the
clergyman's additional children were costing the
church.
Finally, the preacher got up and spoke to the
crowd,
"Having children is an act of God!"
Silence fell upon the congregation.
In the back of the room a little old lady stood up
and in
her frail voice said, "Snow and rain are also acts
of God,
but when we get too much, we wear rubbers!"
Don't you just love little old ladies?
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DOCTORS EQUIPMENT
A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she
has a smelly
fanny. She explains the problem and the doctor
tells her to take
all her clothes off and lay on the examination
table.
He inspects her quickly and then says, 'Right,
just give me a
second please.'
He goes behind the screen and comes back with a
long stick that
has a hook on the end.
"Oh my god!" says the woman in terror, "what are
you going to do
with that thing?"
The doctor replies, "I'm going to open a window,
it fucking
stinks in here."
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