JokesUncut - 23 July 2004

 

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=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The Whole Clan
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Fake Lottery Scratch Cards

Watch your friends get excited when they scratch off the panel
to reveal they've won a prize!

Wait until they have it spent before telling them it's a fake.
Then watch their faces... and be prepared to run.

http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus18.htm

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INTRODUCTION:

I found a good likeness to our LABLaughs editor Lorraine so
thought I'd stick it up here so you can learn a bit more
about her and her lifestyle :-)

Enjoy...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/old.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/old.htm"> Here </a>

Have a great day, it's the last working day before the
weekend so you might as well work hard so you can play hard.

Phil

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QUICK JOKE

Answer these questions to the best of your ability:
1. How many eyes does a rooster have?
2. How many legs does a rooster have?
3. How many beaks does a rooster have?
4. And finally, how many whiskers does a cat have?

OK now that you've answered all these questions
to the best of your ability ask yourself this...

why is it you know so much about cock and nothing about
pussy?

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CARTOON TIME:

Just A Blonde...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/055.htm

This Kid Needs Help...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/056.htm

Going Bowling...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/057.htm

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FUN PAGE

This game is called Harvey WAllbanger, at first it seems
like it's going to be a really naff dull game but when you
start playing it's actually quite fun.

Harvey Wallbanger...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/harveywallbanger/index.htm

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If you are waitress, bartender or waiter,
You NEED to read this!

Relying on customers tips for your income is a tough job.
Most people don't realize how demanding this job can be.
Serving the general public is one of the hardest jobs on the
planet. Usually, this hard work comes with very low pay.
Most waiters, waitresses and bartenders struggle
financially. Fortunately, there are a smart few who make
large money, and have a lot of fun doing it!

http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/gratuity

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VERY ILL

Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to
discuss their options. There was an Alcoholic, one was a
Chain-Smoker, and one was a Homosexual.

The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of
you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely
die." The men left the doctor's office; each convinced that
he would never again indulge himself in his vice.

While walking toward the subway for their return trip to
the suburbs, they passed a bar. The Alcoholic, hearing the
loud music and smelling the ale, could not stop himself.

His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a
shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass
on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.

His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realising
how seriously they must take the doctor's words.

As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying
on the ground, still burning.

The Homosexual looked at the Chain-Smoker and said, "You
know if you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."

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Free Nokia Cell Phone, No Credit Card Required

http://mocda.com/1/c/22998/132311/358855/358855

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BIG TITS VERSUS LITTLE TITS

Women with Big Tits...

..can get a taxi on the worst days
..have men give them the best seats on a bus.
..have a neat place to carry spare change
..have always been the center of the arts (art)
..make jogging a spectator sport
..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
..have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them)
..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie
..can always carry a little extra cash
..always float better
..know where to look first for lost earrings
..rarely lack for a slow dance partner
..have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless
recliner
..never have to buy a car with airbags
..have a place to carry a extra beer

Women with Little Tits...

..don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public
..always look younger
..find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap
..can always see their toes and shoes
..can sleep on their stomachs
..have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars
..know that people can read the entire message on their T-shirts
..know that everything more than a handful is wasted
..can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle
..can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking
themselves out
..never be accused of having implants.

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