JokesUncut - 21 July 2004

 

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=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The Whole Clan
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Classic Gags at Old Fashioned Low Prices!

Backward Running Clock - The Pranksters Handbook
Kitty Crap - Poodle Poop - Doggy Doo
Squirting Flowers, Rings and even Toilet Seats
Fake Flies - Creepy Mouse - Floating Eyeball

and who can forget magic candles that just won't go out?

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INTRODUCTION:

Sorry about the lack of jokes yesterday, as an apology here
is something to make you smile...

http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/bigcheese.htm

Have a great day!

Phil

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QUICK JOKE

A man has 27 parts that don't work for
him.

20 nails that don't nail
1 belly button that doesn't button
2 tits that don't milk
1 cock that doesn't crow
2 balls that don't bounce
1 ass that doesn't do any work
So what are you women smiling at?

You have a pussy that doesn't catch mice!

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CARTOON TIME:

Does It Matter If You Don't Look Down?...
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My Little Pony...
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Twin Peaks...
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FUN PAGE

This game is fun because it's a bit different from all the
other games you find around... it's quite fun and
interesting, you'll find out for yourself by having a go!

Gravity...
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WEDDING NIGHT

At 85 years of age, Morris marries Lou Anne. A lovely 25
year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after
their wedding she and Morris should have separate bedrooms,
because she is concerned that her new, but aged, husband
may overexert himself if they spend the entire night
together.

After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for
bed, and the expected "knock" on the door.

Sure enough, the knock comes; the door opens and there is
Morris, her 85 year old groom, ready for "action."

They "unite as one." All goes well; Morris takes leave of
his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her
bedroom door, and it's Morris.

Again, he is ready for "action."

Somewhat surprised, but nonetheless willing, Lou Anne
consents to more "conjugal bliss."

When the love-birds are done, Morris kisses his bride,
bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but Morris is back again,
rapping on the door, as fresh as a 25-year old.

Ready for more passion. Once again, they enjoy one another.

But as Morris prepares to leave again, his young bride says
to him: "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can
perform so well and so often.

I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were
only good once. You are truly a great lover, Morris."

Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says:

"You mean I was here already?"

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ELDERLY HONEYMOON

An elderly couple, he's 87 and she's 86 just got married
and are on their honeymoon.

In the Hotel room, she slips into something sexy, and crawls
into bed, and waits for her new groom. He's in he bathroom
sprucing himself up.

She waits, and waits 'til she can't wait any longer. She
gets up and goes to the bathroom and opens the door.
Peering in she sees him bent over on the toilet trying to
put on a condom.

She asks "Honey, what are you doing?" and giggles. "I'm 86
years old and can't get pregnant anymore."

He looks up at her and says, "I know, but honey, you know
how the dampness effects my arthritis."

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