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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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Lawn Loonatix Garden Gnomes
Garden Gnomes are little characters for your
garden, but
work just as well in potted plants, on porches,
decks and
patios and well as make a great centerpiece for
any table!
Hand painted and made of heavy duty rubber your
Gnome will
bring a happiness and cheer for years and years to
come!
Don't just use your imagination, come and see
exactly what
each of these gnome titles really means...
Full Moon Gnome - The original mooning garden
gnome
Nature Call Gnome - You can't avoid mother nature
Pull! Gnomes - A little help from a friend is
always good!
Hunting for Worms Gnome (w/exposed butt) - Say no
to crack
Shoulder ride Gnomes - Good friends are hard to
find
Headstand Gnome - Gnomes have fun too
Can't decide? Buy them all and have a great
garden!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus12.htm
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INTRODUCTION:
Yesterday I thought I'd sent out the lists nice
and early so
I went off for the night to watch TV. When I came
back I was
wondering why I'd had no mail replying to the
lists. I
checked and found out that I hadn't sent out the
confirmation emails and as a result the lists were
several
hours late... I can only apologise for delaying
your daily
dose of fun and laughter, I just hope you found
something to
keep you occupied.
Take care and have a great weekend.
God bless,
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Q: What's worse than a cardboard box?
A: Paper tits!
Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.
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CARTOON TIME:
Didos New Song...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/037.htm
Good Luck Penis...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/038.htm
Notice To Notice...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/039.htm
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FUN PAGE
Here we have a Dancing Hillary Clinton...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/dancinghillary/index.htm
And for those of you who aren't in to watching
people dance,
why not have a go at our Psychic Quiz...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/psychicquiz.htm
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Would you like to win $1000 just for telling us
how you
feel?
Join the Synovate Consumer Opinion Panel and
you’ll be
eligible to win!
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WHILE I'M AWAY
A newlywed husband had to go on a business trip,
and hated
to leave his gorgeous, sexy blonde wife alone. The
night
before he left, he brought home a vibrator and
gave it to
her.
"What's this for?" she asked.
"It's for those lonely nights when you miss me,"
explained
her husband, winking. "Just think of it as
something to
take my place when you get horny."
A week later, hubby returns home, and finds the
vibrator
in the garbage. "Honey," he says, "why did you
throw it
away? I told you, you should use it in my place
when I'm
gone."
"I did," she said. "But the damned thing rattled
my fillings
loose."
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Get FREE SHIPPING and 5 DVDs for only $0.49 from
Columbia
House!
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SHRINKING
A scientist named Walter invented a shrinking ray.
He tried
it on himself, and it worked. Unfortunately he
couldn't
reverse the process, and he was stuck being the
size of a
normal man's thumb.
He had a loyal lab assistant who worked with him,
though,
so his diminutive size didn't affect Walter's work
too much.
Still, after a while, Walter began to long for
female
companionship.
His lab assistant thought up a highly unethical
plan. He
planned to get a couple of ladies of the night,
shrink them
down to Walter's size, and keep them shrunk until
they
could figure out a way to reverse the process.
The lab assistant went to Times Square and tried
to get the
young ladies, but it was trickier than it seemed.
They were
reluctant to travel all the way to the lab, but
the lab
assistant offered to double their usual rate, so
they
finally agreed.
As soon as they stepped into the lab, the
assistant turned
on the shrinking ray. There was a flash of light
and a puff
of smoke, and when the air had cleared --- the
prostitutes
were exactly the same size as they were before.
"What's the big idea? Eek!"
One of the prostitutes saw Walter scurrying across
the floor
and squashed him flat with her shoe. Walter was
dead, and
the experiment was ruined.
This was all because the lab assistant forgot what
everyone
already knows: You can lead the whores to Walter,
but you
can't make 'em shrink.
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