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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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It's amazing what you can do with a REMOTE
CONTROL...
Mini Stunt Cars and Mini Racers
Electric Shock FAKE Remote Control
Sound Activated SPIDER - Hear people scream!
Remote Control Flipper - A Hand That Gives The
Finger
Bulls**t Detector and Fart Alarms
ANNOYING Sound Machines and FART Machines
FILTHY Phrases Machine - shouts Obscene Things Out
Remote Control MOUSE - Terify Women as it runs
past them
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus11.htm
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INTRODUCTION:
Quiet day today, AOL members may have noticed a
flood of
'old' issues recently this was needed in order to
get things
back to a 'normal' pattern... you should now
receive each
issue on the date it was intended to arrive.
Remember if you ever miss an issue then you can
view them
all at
http://www.ezines4all.com
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
When I picked up my Ford Escort at the service
station after
some minor repairs, I paid by check as usual. A
couple of
weeks later I came home from work to find my
fiancée quite
upset. She gave me the silent treatment until I
figured out
why she was so angry. She had noticed the canceled
check,
and on the memo line I had written "Escort
Service."
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CARTOON TIME:
Ungrateful Guy...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/034.htm
Unused Flinstone Footage...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/035.htm
Asking Nicely...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/036.htm
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FUN PAGE
This one is called 'Spank The Frank', I'm not
incredibly
impressed by it and it's not really the season for
it...
But it has to be run some time so here it is
today.
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/frank/index.htm
For those of you who missed it, last week I put up
a
version of Sonic The Hedgehog which I think is a
really
good version of the game and any fan of Sonic
should
have a play on this.
Ultimate Sonic...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/sonic.htm
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A USEFUL PRODUCT FROM GAGSPLUS THAT ISN'T A GAG!
Convertible Beach Towels
Tired of carrying so many things to the beach or
pool? Try
the hot new Convertible Beach Towels from GagsPlus
It's a
backpack and beach towel all in one. Carry your
stuff in
the backpack, and then simply flip it inside out
and you
have a great beach towel! Connect your towel down
beach
towel with others and make a beach blanket. Hit
the beach
in the latest fashion trend, the Towel Down beach
towel!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus27.htm
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DECLARATION OF INDEPENDANCE
A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students.
"Johnny,
who signed the Declaration of Independence?"
He was older than some of the others. He said, "
Damn
if I know who signed the fucking thing."
She was a little put out by his swearing, so she
told
him to go home and to bring his father with him
when
he came back.
Next day, the father came with his son, sat in the
back
of the room to observe, as the teacher requested.
She
started back in on her quiz and finally got back
to the
boy. "Now, Johnny, I'll ask you again. Who signed
the
Declaration of Independence?"
"Well, hell, teacher," Johnny said, "I told you I
didn't
know."
The father jumped up in the back, pointed a stern
finger
at his son, and said, "Johnny, if you signed that
fucking
thing, you damn well better own up to it!"
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Make your opinion count!
Win $1,000 for joining the i-Say Panel.
Plus, each time you complete a survey, you have a
chance to
win cash. Share your views, influence
decision-makers and
win CASH - it's that easy!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/primary280.htm
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WHAT KINDA WOMAN
Vincenzo and Luigi were sitting on a bench in a
New York
park. "Hey," said Vincenzo , "do you likea biga
fat woman
with a longa, greasy, straggly hair?"
"No, I'ma no likea dat" replied Luigi .
"Den, you likea da woman stinka bad a garlic alla
da time?"
inquired Vincenzo .
"Nope, I'ma no lika dat kind either!" said Luigi .
"You musta likea da woman with a big, thicka hips
anna
varicose veins, no?" asks Vincenzo .
"Notta me!" answered Luigi .
"How about da woman witha da big ass and hairy
arms," asks
Vincenzo
"Never lika dat!" answered Luigi .
"Den you Guinea bastard, whya you keepa fuc*in' my
wife?"
Vincenzo asked.
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How To Have The Best Sex Humanly Possible - By
Gary Halbert
If you are interested in having an absolutely
incredible
sex life, there is a new book (just published)
that has the
most exciting secrets you will ever read.
But, here's a warning: Before you request your
copy of the
book, you better know some of the secrets revealed
in it.
You see, the author of the book doesn't want to
embarrass
anyone... or... make them feel uncomfortable in
any way. So,
if your deep religious beliefs, your ultra
conservative
upbringing or, if you have "personal reasons"
against
having great sex... you probably should NOT read
this
book.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/giftfunds
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