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=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
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INTRODUCTION:
Today we thought it'd be nice to visit my Mum who
lives in
Perth which is around 90 minutes in total from
where I live.
We thought it'd also be nice to take her out for a
meal and
I looked up a place online and it looked like it
had a
decent menu, afterall it served my favourite dish
which is
pizza garlic bread with cheese.
The place is called 'Sportsters Bar and Grill' and
we all
went in and ordered Macaroni and Cheese, Fries and
a Garlic
Pizza Bread with Cheese to share. When I say we
ordered...
this was 'eventually' we waited so long I went
over to the
bar and asked if we had to order at the bar. What
annoyed
me as well is that people who came in after us
were served
before us.
The Macaroni and Cheese came wrong and we sent it
back, when
it returned it fries were cold and the offending
tomato had
just been scraped off as had the side salad we
requested not
to receive... the Macaroni was rubbery, greasy and
tasteless but this was nothing at all on the
garlic pizza
bread with cheese. I mentioned it's my favourite
so I order
it pretty much everywhere I go but this was,
without any
doubt, the worse I have ever had. It arrived with
no cheese
and no garlic... it had lots of white flour coming
off of it
and it was totally soaked through with grease. We
sent it
back and we got another one (this was a side
order) after
we'd decided not to risk eating any Macaroni. The
2nd one
was no better it was completely inedible soaked
and grease
and had flour coming off it and no taste of garlic
whatsoever... so we didn't eat that either.
When we were asked if everything was fine we told
them
exactly what we thought of it and how it had
ruined a
nicely planned day (We actually missed the train
home we
wanted to get because the service was so slow). We
told
them how disgusting the food was on. They charged
full
price and just said the comments would be 'taken
on board',
what I would have expected was for the so-called
Chef
and the manager to come and apologise to me in
person...
what is happening to good old-fashioned service? I
did
not enjoy offending my taste buds by putting that
in
my mouth and we only paid for it to avoid creating
a
scene in public.
Right, that's enough ranting... enjoy the jokes!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
At a big cocktail party, an obstetrician's wife
noticed
another guest, a big, oversexed blonde, was making
overtures
at her husband.
It was a large, informal gathering, so she tried
to laugh it
off, until she saw them disappear into a bedroom
together.
At once she rushed into the room, pulled the two
apart and
screamed, "Look, lady! My husband just delivers
babies, he
doesn't INSTALL them!"
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CARTOON TIME:
See Dick And Jane...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/031.htm
Things You Can Do With A Useless Man...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/032.htm
The Farmer Sutra...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/033.htm
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FUN PAGE
This really is the most annoying page on the
internet...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/annoying.htm
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GUILT
When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill
said, "I am putting
a box under our bed. You must promise never to
look in it."
In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never
looked. However,
on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary,
curiosity got the
better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked
inside. In the
box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in
cash.
After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her
guilt and she
confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these
years I kept my
promise and never looked in the box under our bed.
However, today
the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now
I need to know
why do you keep the empty cans in the box?"
Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess that
after all these
years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I
was unfaithful to
you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the
bed to remind
myself not to do it again."
Hillary was shocked, but said, "I am very
disappointed and
saddened, but I guess after all those years away
from home on the
road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3
times is not that
bad considering the number of years we've been
together."
They hugged and made their peace. A little while
later, Hillary
asked Bill, "So why do you have all that money in
the box?"
Bill answered, "Well, whenever the box filled up
with empty cans,
I took them to the recycling center and redeemed
them for cash."
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THAT'LL BE THE DAY
Strolling through the singles' bar, the rich dude
spotted a lovely young woman sitting alone at a
table,
and walked over. "Say, babe, how about coming
along and
giving me a little head?"
The woman looked up. "That'll be the day."
Undaunted (he was used to rejection), Bill said,
"Well then,
how about coming to my apartment and fucking like
rabbits?"
Snickering, the woman said, "That'll be the day!"
"Okay," He said. "How about taking my limo to my
private jet,
flying to Tahiti, and spending the weekend on my
private beach?"
The woman looked up and smiled at him, saying,
"THIS'LL be
the day!"
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