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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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JokeVelopes - Hilarious PRANK envelopes!
Send your friends (or enemies) mail that looks
like it's
coming from:
Old Farts Retirement Home - Venereal Disease
Control Center
Erectile Dysfunction Clinic - Breast Enlargement
Clinic
Stock Trading Violation - Golf Course Protection
Agency
Masturbators Anonymous - Proctology Clinic
Kiss-Ass Awards - Deportation Notice
Dumb Blondes Club - Big Butts Club
... And many more!
Hilarious PRANK ENVELOPES you can send through the
regular
mail! These look so real they'll fool your
mother.. but we
don't recommend playing pranks on her. She brought
you into
this world, and by god she can take you out too!
We've done
all the work for you, even stamped it - all you
need to do
is address it, and toss it in the mail - it's that
easy!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus09.htm
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INTRODUCTION:
Today we went down to 'Mary Kings Close' which is
a series
of street burried several storeys below
Edinburgh's old
town. The whole place was covered over hundreds of
years
ago and only opened back up recently. It's not
very
pleasant going several storeys below ground in the
dark
with no proper ventilation on uneven streets that
were
hundreds of years old and going into tiny little
houses
where people died from horrible diseases.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of
the
sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled
out,
"Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"
The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the
proper
word to use in this situation. The correct word
you want
to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate'
in a
sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."
Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're
an eight,
but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"
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CARTOON TIME:
Nudist Club Newbie...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/028.htm
Message To My Boss...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/029.htm
Pussy Pussy Pussy...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/030.htm
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FUN PAGE
Fowl Words 2...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/fowlwords2/index.htm
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BIZARRE PHONE PROBLEM
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to
report that
her telephone failed to ring when her friends
called - and
that on the few occasions when it did ring, her
pet dog
always moaned right before the phone rang. The
telephone
repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see
this
psychic dog or senile elderly lady. He climbed a
nearby
telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed
the
subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right
away, but
then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began
to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone
repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's
ground wire
via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was
loose.
3. The dog was receiving 9 volts of signaling
current when
the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would
start moaning
and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus
causing
the phone to ring. Which demonstrates that some
problems
CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
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Crime doesn't pay but a career in criminal justice
does!
Protect and Serve...Get involved on the front
lines or
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country
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Come visit Education Provider, your one-stop shop
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WHO'S THE DADDY?
A man exiting a grocery store was very surprised
when a
rather good-looking and perky young lady greeted
him
cheerfully by saying, "Good evening!" Her face was
beaming.
At least she was smiling until he gave her that
"Who are
you?" look.
He couldn't remember having ever seen her before.
Then she obviously realized that a mistake had
been made
and apologized.
She explained, "Oh, I'm so sorry. When I first saw
you I
thought you were the father of one of my
children."
She walked on her way into the store.
The man was left staring dumbfounded after her.
More than a bit puzzled, he thought to himself,
"What is
the world coming to, an attractive woman who
doesn't even
keep track of what the father of her children look
like."
However, he was also a bit flattered that he might
resemble
one of her former suitors, but also hoped that
nobody
overheard her saying that she mistook him for
being the
father of one of her children.
A bit panicked, he then thought, "Could I possibly
have
forgotten a relationship?"
"Could it be that I really fathered a child?"
Still stunned, he walked to his car.
He still did not realize, of course, that....
She was a second grade teacher.
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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
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