| |
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
* ~ * ~ *
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
Shocking Roulette!
Russian Roulette has to be the ultimate game of
chance. Now
you can experience the fear and anticipation in
your own
home with this ‘shocking' new game.
Now don't worry that we're advocating playing with
guns.
Shocking Roulette doesn't feature bullets, and you
won't
have to scrape anybody's brains off the floor
afterwards in
a Deer Hunter style. But you will have to face
your fears
and leave your fate to chance, or end up looking
like a
prize wuss.
Shocking Roulette is an electronic game for 2 – 4
players.
Each player places their finger in one of the
holes on the
board. Press the start button, and the agonizing
wait begins.
A flashing light makes its way around the board,
accompanied
by the sound of a roulette wheel. As it slows, the
tension
reaches fever pitch – and then it stops. And one
unlucky
player receives a jolt of (harmless) electricity
through his
or her finger!
3 AA batteries included.
Not recommended for small children or those with
heart conditions.
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus07.htm
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
INTRODUCTION:
Over the last few days you'll have noticed email
delivery
times have been a little strange. This is due to
ISPs
dealing with bulk mail in strange ways. Hopefully
normal
service will be resumed soon... btw, this should
reach
you on Saturday... unless of course you're
somewhere like
Australia in which case it's already tomorrow so
I'm too
late and I'm writing this yesterday.
Have a great weekend, and if you don't get this
until you're
back at work on Monday... ha ha ha, we're all
having fun
and you're stuck at work.
Phil
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
QUICK JOKE
I just bought a new state-of-the-art Sony car
stereo! When
you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music. When
you shout
out "Rock", it plays rock music. Some kids ran in
front of
my car this morning and I shouted "Fucking
Kids"... and it
played Michael Jackson.
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
CARTOON TIME:
Excuse Scorecard...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/022.htm
Prison Visiting...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/023.htm
Who's The Asshole?...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/024.htm
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
FUN PAGE
This really is a very good version of the Sonic
range of
games that are so famous. Very well done with some
added
extras.
Ultimate Sonic...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/sonic.htm
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
How To Have The Best Sex Humanly Possible - By
Gary Halbert
If you are interested in having an absolutely
incredible
sex life, there is a new book (just published)
that has the
most exciting secrets you will ever read.
But, here's a warning: Before you request your
copy of the
book, you better know some of the secrets revealed
in it.
You see, the author of the book doesn't want to
embarrass
anyone... or... make them feel uncomfortable in
any way. So,
if your deep religious beliefs, your ultra
conservative
upbringing or, if you have "personal reasons"
against
having great sex... you probably should NOT read
this
book.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/giftfunds
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
KIDS NAMES
A farmer had so many children, he ran out of
names, so he
started naming his kids after something around the
farm.
The first day of school began, and the teacher
asked each
child their name. When he got to one of the
farmer's sons,
the boy replied,
"Wagon Wheel."
The teacher said, "I need your REAL name, son," to
which
he boy replied, "It's Wagon Wheel, sir...Really."
The teacher, in a huff, said, "All right young
man, march
yourself right down to the principal's office THIS
minute!"
The boy got out of his chair, turned to his
sister, and
said, "C'mon, 'Chicken Crap,' he ain't gonna
believe you,
either."
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
Mole, Wart & Skin Tag Free In 3 Days
Do You Want To Have...
Freedom from the pain and irritation of your
unsightly moles,
warts or skin tags?
No more endless days of fighting a losing battle
with these
problems? To wake up and enjoy the rest of your
day knowing
your skin is clear and pain-free, and STAYS that
way?
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/molewartfr
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
A COWBOYS STORY
A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing
the desert
without water.
His horse has already died of thirst.
He's crawling through the sand,certain that he has
breathed
his last, when all of a sudden, he sees anobject
sticking
out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand,
and
discovers what looks to be an old brief case.
He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no
ordinary
genie.
She is wearing an Internal Revenue Service ID
badge and a
dull gray dress.
There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a
pencil
tucked behind one ear.
"Well, cowboy," says the genie... "You know how I
work.
You have three wishes."
"I'm not falling for this." Says the man. "I'm not
going
to trust an IRS auditor genie."
"What do you have to lose? You've got no
transportation,
and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"
The man thinks about this for a minute, and
decides that
the genie is right.
"OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of
food
and drink."
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful
oasis he
has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of
wine
and platters of delicacies.
"OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."
"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my
wildest
dreams."
***POOF***
The man finds himself surrounded by treasure
chests
filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish.
Better make
it a good one!"
After thinking for a few minutes, the man says..
"I wish that
no matter where I go, beautiful women will want
and need me."
***POOF***
He is turned into a tampon.
The moral of the story: If the government offers
you
anything, there's going to be a string attached.
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
"Here's How To Cut Your Carbs To The Bone,
Protect Each Hard Fought Pound You Lose, And
Maintain Complete Satisfaction In Your Low
Carb Diet, Without Ever Being Hungry Again!"
All-new low carb tracking software.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/carbtrack
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- |