JokesUncut - 07 July 2004

 

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=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The Whole Clan
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Spice Mice - Little Mice, Big Personalities!

The Spice Mice were a smash hit when Regis Philbin brought
them onto his Live with Regis and Kathy show - the audience
actually applauded wildly when they saw them in action!
Approx. 5x6 inches in size, they talk and/or sing when you
squeeze them.. 8 styles to choose from with more arriving
each month - collect them all!

http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus04.htm

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INTRODUCTION:

Today was shopping delivery day today... that day when I
order massive quantities of groceries to feed us and our
visitors for the weeks to come. It always amazes me how I
have the ability, without even thinking about it, to order
the exact amount of food that will fit in my fridge, freezer
and cupboards without leaving a square inch of space and
with everything fitting in perfectly and nothing being left
out.

I love groceries... too many decisions to make on what to
eat this evening though.

Suggestions welcome.

Phil

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QUICK JOKE

Q. What do you get if you cross an owl with a hedgehog?
A. A prick that stays up all night.

Q. Did you hear about the new magazine for married men
published by Playboy?
A. It has the same pictures month after month after month
after month after month....

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CARTOON TIME:

The Best ATM In The World...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/013.htm

Switching Partners...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/014.htm

Could You Write Your Email Down?...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/015.htm

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FUN PAGE

It's really amazing what kinds of teddy bears are getting
made nowadays. Here are some photos... be warned... some
aren't for the faint of heart.

A Bear For Every Occassion...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/bears.htm

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ATTENTION!!! New Virus Epidemic!

Netsky and Bagel have now infected more than a million
computers since they were first detected, causing losses of
more than 38,500 million dollars.

Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual? If
you've using the Internet over the past month, your computer
may be infected with a computer Virus that your current
Anti-virus software may have failed to detect and remove.

Some of this computer viruses disable many Antivirus
programs so that they remain undetected! PAL Emergency
Response is an Anti-virus program that works separate from
any other program on your PC and will remove all the latest
computer threats.

http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/emergencyr

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NEW TRUCK

One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw
his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up
to him with a wide grin.

"Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!?"
"Bobby Sue gave it to me" Bubba replied.

"She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a
new truck?"

"Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened.
We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of
nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck
in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods.She parked the
truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, 'Bubba,
take whatever you want'. So I took the truck!"

"Bubba, you're a smart man!. Them clothes woulda never fit
you!"

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Mole, Wart & Skin Tag Free In 3 Days

Do You Want To Have...

Freedom from the pain and irritation of your unsightly moles,
warts or skin tags?

No more endless days of fighting a losing battle with these
problems? To wake up and enjoy the rest of your day knowing
your skin is clear and pain-free, and STAYS that way?

http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/molewartfr

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY

A friend of mine is a nurse at a Chicago hospital. One
evening, when she was on emergency room duty, a young man
came waddling into the room assisted by his young wife.

"I want to speak to the doctor," he says. "Could you tell
me what the problem is?" replied the woman behind the desk.

"I want to speak to the doctor," he replies.

His wife begins to snicker.

Eventually the doctor comes and gets the story. The couple
are newlyweds. It was her birthday. The man decided to
surprise her. His plan was to insert a small birthday
candle into his erect penis, light it, and walk into the
room singing "Happy birthday to you." When he inserted the
little candle, he coughed, and the candle was pulled out
of sight. The efforts of his panic only caused the candle
to go down further.

The doctor had to sedate him with Valium and recruit
several of the ER staff to assist in extracting the candle.

As the young woman assisted her wobbly husband out to the
car, the hysterical laughter from the ER could be heard
for blocks.

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Copy Any DVD to CD Format With a CD-R
Backup Any DVD to CD Format With a CD-R
Also supports DVD to DVD with a DVD-R

"My Favorite DVD Copying Product"
- Dermot Batt, PC World

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