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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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Hilarious Bumper Pranks!
*I'm Proud To Be Gay*
*I Love Surfing For Porn*
*Driver Has A Small Penis*
Slap one on of our outrageous bumper pranks your
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AND RE-USABLE! Get ready to laugh your ass off as
your buddy
drives out of the parking lot sporting one of
these on his
bumper
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INTRODUCTION:
Apologies for the lack of mail over the last few
days, I'm
hoping you had an enjoyable break from it.
For all those celebrating independance days, I
hope you had
a great day yesterday.
Today I'm in mouring for one of my best posessions.
My
rechargeable optical mouse has stopped working and
I can't
figure out why. The USB receiver still works, the
charger
still works and I even bought new batteries incase
it was
them. The light flashes like it should but the
problem
seems to be when the signal is sent it isn't
received... I
haven't moved the sender and there's nothing in
the path of
it. Sometimes it works a little and moved a
centimetre
accross the screen before it stops responding
again. I'm
absolutely gutted at the moment as it's a real
handicap
having to use a normal mouse with a ball... as
anyone with
an optical mouse will tell you. The only
comparison I can
make is when you're used to using broadband and
then return
to a dial-up connection... something else which
always
upsets me on the occassions my ADSL goes down for
a short
time.
Have a great day... and someone send me a solution
to my
mouse problem.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
A Salesman was traveling by train with his bride
for his
honeymoon to Florida. He was talking to an old
gentleman
with whom he had made an acquaintance.. He told
him "I am
going with my wife for my honeymoon to spend it in
Florida"
The gentleman asked "Are you going to Tampa with
her?"
"You are damn right that I am going to tamper with
her, but
what is that to you?"
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CARTOON TIME:
Brown And Keyhole Shaped?...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/007.htm
Smiley Licky Smiley!...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/008.htm
Upcoming Marriage...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/009.htm
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FUN PAGE
Kids Beware...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/windscream.htm
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Double The Speed Of Your PC
Discover some of the most amazing secrets to speed
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everything in this report without spending a
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hardware and I will show you exactly how in these
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THE MAID AND THE BABIES
A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in
maid to cook
and do the housework. They hired a most comely
young woman
for the job. She worked out fine, was a good cook,
was
polite, and kept the house neat, and also kept the
gentleman
of the household most satisfied indeed!.
One day, after about six months, she came in and
said she
would have to quit. "But why?" asked the
disappointed wife.
She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to
say, but
the wife was persistent, so finally she said,
"Well, I'm
pregnant."
The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. I
am not
able to have children and my husband and I would
dearly
love children, so we'll adopt your baby if you
will stay."
She talked to her husband and of course he readily
agreed,
and the maid said she would stay. The baby came,
they
adopted it, and all went well.
After several months though, the maid came in
again and
said that she would have to quit. The wife
questioned her,
found out that she was pregnant again, talked to
her
husband, and offered to adopt the baby if she
would stay.
She agreed, had the baby, they adopted it, and
life went
on as usual.
In a few months, however, she again said she would
have to
leave. Same thing. She was pregnant. They made the
same
offer, she agreed, and they adopted the third
baby. She
worked for another two months, but then said, "I
am
definitely leaving this time."
"Don't tell me you're pregnant again?" asked the
lady of the
house.
"No," she said, "there are just too many bloody
kids here to
pick up after!"
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CHAIN LETTERS
Hello, my name is Amber and I suffer from the
guilt of not
forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent
to me by
people who actually believe that if you send them
on, a poor
6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her
forehead
will be able to raise enough money to have it
removed before
her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak
show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going
to give
you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email,
$1000?
How stupid are we?
"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and
make a
wish, I'll get laid by a model I just ! happen to
run
into the next day!"
What a bunch of bullshit.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come
into my
house and sodomize me in my sleep for not
continuing a
chain letter that was started by Peter in 5 AD and
brought
to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower.
Fuck them.
If you're going to forward something, at least
send me
something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send
this to
10 of your closest friends,and this poor, wretched
excuse
for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
from some
omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.
I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about! what
you're
actually contributing to by sending out these
forwards.
Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter
that's
threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for
the rest
of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it
on.
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty
about a
leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied
to the
ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only
salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive
if you
forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know.
Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will
turn
carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
Have a nice day.
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If you want to learn Photoshop fast and you want
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then this might be the most important letter you
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Here's what this is all about:
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