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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
Last night I decided, to be lazy, that I wanted to
order in
a pizza for dinner. So, I phoned Pizza Hut and
they said
that it'd be 2 1/2 hours before they could deliver
and they
only had a large pan base left... nothing else. I
said as I
only ever order a small pizza would they charge me
for just
that seeing as it was their problem? The reply was
'no' so
that branch of pizza hut has lost my custom.
Instead, still wanting to eat pizza, I telephoned
my local
chip shop (who also happen to do pizzas) and asked
them for
a 12" garlic bread with cheese... I'm not joking
when I say
it was at my door in around five minutes of me
getting off
the phone... sure beats 2 1/2 hour... and the
pizza was
really nice too... better than Pizza Hut who can't
do
garlic pizza bread with cheese and just have
crappy garlic
bread... which when you get they don't put it
under the
grill long enough so the cheese is hardly
melted... let
alone crisped up... and they have greasy pizzas...
and
greasy pizzas make me ill... when I get a 12"
pizza I can
usually eat 1/4 to 1/2 of it and even then that's
after I've
swollowed a metoclopramide, a lansoprazole and a
couple of
codeine... even someone with pancreatitis deserves
a treat
once in a while.
Anyway, enough talking about food, I hope these
jokes and
toons are a treat for you.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Instead of a joke, check this out:
Proof That Some People Have Strange Habits
Body Painting...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/bodypainting.htm
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CARTOON TIME:
Sperm Have It Tough...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200405/026.htm
New Idea For Sledging...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200405/027.htm
Mr-X As A Child...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200405/028.htm
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FUN PAGE
Have you visited some of our classic fun pages
yet?
The Most Annoying Page On The Internet...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/annoying.htm
The Densa Test
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/densa.htm
Click the Dot
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/dotclick.htm
The Reflex Tester
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/reflex.htm
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SEXUAL DISORDERS
There's a student in medical school who wants to
specialize
in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to
visit the
sexual disorder clinic. The chief doctor is
showing him
around, discussing cases and the facility, when
the student
sees a patient masturbating right there in the
hallway.
"What condition does he have?" the student asks.
"He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder," the
doctor
replies. "If he doesn't obtain sexual release
forty to fifty
times a day, he'll pass into a coma."
The student takes some notes on that, and they
continue down
the hall.
As they turn the corner, he sees another patient
with his
pants around his ankles, receiving oral sex from a
beautiful
nurse.
"What about him?" the student asks. "What's his
story?"
"Oh, it's the same condition," the doctor replies.
"He just
has a better health plan
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PISSING UP THE WALL
Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal
of Our
Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an
advanced
state of agitation. "Father!" she cried, "just
wait until
you hear this!"
The priest led the sister to a chair, and said,
"Now just
calm down and tell me what has you so excited?"
"Well, father" the nun began, "I was just walking
down the
hall to the chapel and I heard some of the older
boys
wagering money!"
"A serious infraction, indeed!" said the priest.
"But that's not what has me so excited, father"
replied the
nun," it was WHAT they were wagering ON! They had
wagered
on a contest to see who could urinate the highest
on the
wall!!"
"What an incredible wager!" exclaimed the priest,
"What did
you do?"
"Well, I hit the ceiling, father."
"How much did you win?"
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