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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
Football ::yawn:: Football ::yawn:: Football
::yawn::
It wouldn't be so boring if Scotland were in the
finals...
in fact that would be great. The only thing I've
got to look
forward to, though, is seeing England kicked out
at some
stage soon... whether they lose to Croatia or some
other
team it's bound to happen.
Then, we've got Wimbledon where everyone's always
wanting
Tim Henman to win... he's never going to do it...
never...
ever... stop waiting for something to happen that
won't.
The Olympics!!! If Athens is ready in time then
we'll get
the Olympic Games this year, I'm not really
interested in
most of the sports... but I like athletics...
especially
the 100 metres, probably because my attention span
is
about 9.9 seconds... longer than that and I get
bored.
I'm missing my soaps :-( Does anyone have a cure
for
soap withdrawal?
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a
son-of-a-bitch." - Rich Jeni
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Black Viagra...
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BMW Incentives...
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Fundies...
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FUN PAGE
This is a bit like lemmings or worms... but it
envolves
mice, it's actually quite clever and fun to play.
Cyber Mice Party...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/cybermiceparty/index.htm
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TOO TIRED FOR SEX
Jenny's husband, Charley, was a male chauvinist.
Even though
they both worked full-time, he never helped around
the
house.. Housework was woman's work!
But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to
find the
children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer
and
another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the
table
set. She was astonished ---something's up.
It turns out that Charley had read an article that
said
wives who worked full-time and had to do their own
housework
were too tired to have sex.
The night went well and the next day she told her
office
friends all about it. "We had a great dinner.
Charley even
cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework,
folded
all the laundry and put everything away. I really
enjoyed
the evening."
"But what about afterward?" asked her friends.
"Oh, that was perfect too. Charley was too tired!"
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THIRST DAE GETIN' A EJUKASION
On the first day of Kindergarten, Johnnie's
teacher asked the students to count to 50.
Many of them did very well, some getting
as high as 37. But Johnnie did extremely well;
he made it to 100 with only 3 mistakes.
At home he told his Dad how well he had done.
Dad told him, "That's because you are from
Texas, son."
The next day, in language class, the teacher asked
students to recite the alphabet. Some made it to
the
letter "k" with only one mistake, but Johnnie
outdid
them again. He made it all the way through,
missing
only the letter "m".
That evening he once again brought his Dad up to
date and Dad explained to him, "That's because you
are from Texas, son".
The next day, after Physical Education, the boys
were
taking showers. Johnnie noted that, compared to
the
other boys in his grade, he seemed overly
"well-endowed".
This confused him. That night, he asked his Dad,
"Dad, they all have little tiny ones, but mine is
ten times
bigger than theirs. Is that because I'm from
Texas?"
"No, son, "explained Dad, "That's because you're
18!"
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