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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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How you can keep from being taken on a used car ?
By learning how to properly inspect a used
vehicle.
Inspect Before You Buy
A "Do It Yourself" guide to inspecting a used
vehicle.
By Jerry Ellingson, ASE Certified Auto Technician
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/inspectcar
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INTRODUCTION:
I stayed up until 4am last night, which isn't bad
in itself
but the problem is getting up in the morning.
Because of
being ill I need a lot of sleep but the longer I
sleep into
a day the more likely I am to stay up late the
next night
which just involves getting into a vicious circle
where
night and day get mixed up. Lizzie wasn't allowing
this so
started phoning me every 30 mins at 11am and then
every 5
mins at 2pm... at 2.25 she threatened to come over
and drag
me out of bed so I got up... anything for a
peaceful life.
Sleepily,
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
While being interviewed, wise old King Solomon was
asked why he had 1000 wives.
His reply. "Well, with 1000 wives.... hopefully at
least one of them won't have a headache."
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CARTOON TIME:
Food For Thought...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200402/037.htm
Is It In Yet?...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200402/038.htm
Pulling Teeth...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200402/039.htm
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FUN PAGE
Another fun game today, get bunches of balls all
the same
color... a game of skill
Bunch...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/bunch/index.htm
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Lawnmower won't run? Edger feeling edgy?
Two Great Small Engine eBooks
Tech Tips:
Your complete resource for small engine service
and troubleshooting
Carburetor Tips:
All the help you need for small engine carburetor
problems.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/tekbook
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GORILLA INTELLECT
This guy went to the zoo one day. While he was
standing in
front of the gorilla's enclosure, the wind gusted
and he got
some grit in his eye. As he pulled his eyelid down
to
dislodge the particle, the gorilla went crazy,
bent open the
bars, and beat the guy senseless.
When the guy came to, the zookeeper was anxiously
bending
over him, and as soon as he was able to talk, he
explained
what had happened. The zookeeper nodded and
explained that
in gorilla language, pulling down your eyelid
means "F*ck
you". This didn't make the gorilla's victim feel
any better
and he vowed revenge.
The next day he purchased two large knives, two
party hats,
two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the
sausage
in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to
the
gorilla's cage, into which he tossed a hat, a
knife, and a
party horn. Knowing that the big apes were natural
mimics,
he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him,
and looked
at the hat, and put it on. Next he picked up his
horn and
blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did
the same.
Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the
sausage out of
his pants, and sliced it neatly in two. The
gorilla looked
at the knife in his cage, looked at his own
crotch, and
pulled down his eyelid.
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If you want to learn how to make your own
remedies, and
skin care products... or if you like to know how
to treat
most common diseases, without using harsh drugs,
then you
are in the right place.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/optinmag
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SEMEN SAMPLE
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this
jar home
and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the
doctor's
office and gave him the jar, which was as clean
and empty
as on the previous day. The doctor asked what
happened and
the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this -
First I
tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I
tried with my
left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife
for
help. She tried with her right hand, then her
left, still
nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the
teeth in,
then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We
even called
up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too,
first with
both hands, then an armpit and she even tried
squeezing' it
between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, Yep. And no matter what we
tried, we
still couldn't get the jar open."
For all of you with the dirty minds, you should be
ashamed!
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43-Year Arthritis Sufferer Shocks Her Doctors
By Curing Her Arthritis...
Naturally Without Expensive Medication Or Surgery!
"I Cured My Arthritis You Can Too"
Over 241,987 Copies Sold
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/arthritis
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