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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
We went to see Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of
Azkerban and
I'm saddened to say that both Lizzie and I were
extremely
disappointed. I'm not saying it was a terrible
film, but if
you know the outcome then you're less gripped by
the whole
excitement of it. Being true Harry Potter fanatics
we both
got annoyed at every bit of the story that was
skipped (ok,
every single word that was skipped) and all the
parts that
were changed for the big screen. I'm somebody who
has
attention to detail, probably too much at times,
so was
just unhappy... aside from that, it was far too
loud, so I
we walked out... I'm just glad we knew the ending
(unless
that too was changed for film).
I think I'm getting old, if I complain about
things like
noise at 23 then what hope do I have? That reminds
me of
my trip to The Falkirk Wheel (you know, the one I
said
was slow) where I had a kid behind me constantly
kicking
my seat.
Quietly,
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Q: How do you get rid of unwanted pubic hair?
A: Spit.
Q: Why are pubic hairs curly?
A: So you don't poke your eye out.
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CARTOON TIME:
Bungee Cord...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200402/031.htm
I Think He Gets Oral...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200402/032.htm
Viagra Nasal Spray...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200402/033.htm
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FUN PAGE
Bubble Trouble...
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DISGRUNTLED BAR CUSTOMER
A guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a
piss.
He comes back about 10 minutes later, sits down at
the bar, muttering and swearing very softly. The
barkeep approaches the customer and asks what the
problem is.
"Oh some son-uv-a-bitch snuck up behind me while I
was at the urinal and put a gun to my head".
"Ouch! What happened?"
"He told me to give him a blow job or he'd blow my
brains out!"
"Yeah, then what?"
"Well you didn't hear a gun shot, did you???"
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POWDER MY NOSE
A little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox.
The little boy has to go to take a pee and he was
told by his mother to always Be Polite and don't
talk
about private matters in public. At first he holds
it in for a little while because he does not know
what to say to the little girl to excuse himself.
Then he remembers what his mom had said at the
restaurant to excuse herself from the table. So he
turns to the little girl and says "Will you excuse
me I have to go powder my nose". And saying that
he
leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.
When he comes back the little girl looks up at him
and asks "Did you powder your nose?"
"Yes" said the little boy stepping back into the
sandbox.
"Well then" says the little girl, "You'd better
close
your compact because your lipstick is hanging
out!"
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