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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
Back to our normal time slot tonight, I was caught
up
yesterday so didn't get to post in time. I'd done
everything
in advance but just had to hit the send key but
didn't want
to delay things further by editing my pre-written
intro...
full of my usual controversy which causes dozens
to send
abuse and demands that I unsubscribe them from the
list
(funny how the ones with stupid and ignorant
political
beliefs are the same ones too stupid to work out
how to
unsubscribe themselves)... oh well :-)
For the rest of you, have a lovely day. Sadly the
weekend is
nearly over but hopefully I can bring you a bit of
cheer
throughout the next week.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Q: Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you
feel.
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CARTOON TIME:
Coach Company Name...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200402/010.htm
G? F?ck Y??rse?lf...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200402/011.htm
Three Rules Of Getting Older...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200402/012.htm
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FUN PAGE
Alien Abduction...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/alienabduction
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FINDING THE RIGHT GIRL
When I was in junior high, all I wanted was a girl
with big
boobs. In high school, I dated a girl with big
boobs, but
there was no passion.
So I decided I needed a passionate girl. In
college, I
dated a passionate girl, but she was too
emotional.
Everything was an emergency, she cried all the
time.
So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.
I found a
very stable girl, but she was boring. She never
got excited
about anything.
So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
I found
an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her.
She
rushed from one thing to another, never settling
on
anything. She was without direction.
So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.
After
college, I found an ambitious girl and married
her. She was
so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything
I owned.
Now all I want is a girl with big boobs!
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STARVATION
In class, the teacher was discussing starvation.
She asked
volunteers to come up to the chalkboard to draw
their idea
of starvation.
Although Little Johnny was the only kid in class
with his
hand up the teacher called on Jose' because she
knew better
than to call on Little Johnny. So Jose' went up
and drew a
round circle on the board with a bunch of dots in
the circle.
The teacher asks him, "What is that Jose'?"
Jose' replied, "Starvation is when all you have
for dinner
is a bunch of peas".
The teacher said, "That's great Jose', but not
quite what I'm
looking for."
She called on Suzy next, even though Little Johnny
was the
only one with his hand. Suzy went up and drew a
circle and
only put 2 dots in it. She explained to the
teacher that
starvation is only having two peas for dinner.
Again the teacher said, "Well that's great, but
not what I
was looking for."
Finally she called on Little Johnny even though
she knew
she'd regret it. Little Johnny came up and drew a
big
circle and then draws a bunch of scribbled lines
in it.
The teacher was thinking, well here it comes. She
asked,
"O.K. Little Johnny, tell us what your idea of
starvation
is."
Little Johnny says, "Well, teacher, this circle is
a big
asshole, and all these scribbles are cob-webs!"
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