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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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Gender Selection Of Your Baby
Gender determination of an unborn baby, pregnancy
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INTRODUCTION:
Hello people. I've been thinking recently about
making a
page with links to some subscribers pages so that
you can
all visit each others pages. So, if you've got a
site then
send me a link and a short description and if I
think it's
suitable I'll include it! I'll publish the link
here once
it's ready.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
My dental hygienist, Faye Ray,
Said, "Travis, eat pussy each day;
Your gums will be stronger,
Your teeth will last longer,
Coz pussy prevents tooth decay!"
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CARTOON TIME:
Premature Ejaculators Anonymous...
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Sex For Free...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200311/030.htm
Someone Else?...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200311/031.htm
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FUN PAGE
Be a small fish in a small pond, beware of those
big fish!
Fishy...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/fishy.htm
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Safety and Self Defense Tips, Tricks and Advice
for Women.
Learn Effective Self Defense Tips, Tricks and
Advice for
Women in minutes! Here you can get the popular
Safety and
Self Defense eBooks for Women
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FAMILY LOVE
Jim Bob and Julie Sue were twins who couldn't find
dates to
the prom. So Julie Sue asked Jim Bob to go with
her. Jim Bob
said, "No, you're my sister, that's gross."
Julie Sue said, "Come on. Promise me if you can't
find
another date, you'll take me." So Jim Bob said
"Okay".
Well, Jim Bob couldn't find a date so he went with
Julie Sue.
They were just standing by the punch bowl,and
Julie Sue asked
Jim Bob to dance. Jim Bob said, "No, you're my
sister, that's
gross."
Julie Sue said, "Come on. It'll be fun."
So Jim Bob said "Okay", and they had a great time.
After the dance, Julie Sue asked Jim Bob to take
her to Makeout
Hill. Jim Bob said, "No, you're my sister, It
would be gross."
Julie Sue said, "We'll just talk, we don't talk
anymore."
So Jim Bob said "Okay". They were at Makeout Hill
talking, when
Julie Sue moved to the backseat. Julie Sue said,
"Come on, Jim
Bob, take me."
Jim Bob didn't argue. When he moved on top of her,
Julie
Sue murmured, "You're a lot bigger than dad."
Jim Bob replied, "I know. Mom told me last night."
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Mole, Wart & Skin Tag Free In 3 Days
Do You Want To Have...
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unsightly moles,
warts or skin tags?
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HANGOVERS
One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able
to function
relatively well. However, you are still parched.
You can drink
5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason,
you are
craving a steak & fries.
Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You
may look okay,
but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun.
The coffee
you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling
gut, which
is still tossing around the fruity pancake from
the 3:00 AM
Waffle House excursion. There is some definite
havoc being
wreaked upon your bowels.
Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are
definitely not
productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag
because her perfume
reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your
alcoholic
friends dared you to drink. Life would be better
right now
if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns.
You've had
4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas
and a diet
Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.
Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't
speak too
quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has
already
lambasted you for being late and has given you a
lecture for
reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that
can't hide
the fact that you only shaved one side of your
face. (For the
ladies, it looks like you put your makeup on while
riding the
bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red
vein, and even
your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual
spasm, and the
first of about five shits you take during the day
brings water
to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.
Five Star Hangover, (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is
actually
annoying the employee who sits in the next cube.
Vodka vapor
is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.
You still
have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth
from
brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the
remnants of the
poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to
generate
saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You
don't have the
foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed
out in your
bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results
in a fire
hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with
a rare
'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this
'floater' seems
to be to splash the toilet water all over your
ass. Death
sounds pretty good right about now....
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Beyond Meditation
Meditation allows you to heal your body
The mind/body connection is undeniable. The mind
is the key
to health. If you had the will power to eat right,
exercise
and meditate every day - you would reach vibrant
health
purely out of your desire for it. If you want to
change,
change the way you think. Meditation will let you
talk
directly to your subconscious mind and tell it
what you
want to do. You will achieve your goals with the
right
mindset.
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