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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
We've got a great fun page for you to do... who'd
have
thought that Simon Says could be so difficult?
Well, this
is a game of remembering sequences and it's
actually
surprisingly hard to do very well at all. I only
got 15, I
hope some of you can do better.
I had a great weekend which I'll fill you in on
tomorrow as
tonight I'm running a bit late due to a lovely
meal out
followed by a long stroll home (much to Lizzie's
bemusement)
which helped burn the meal off.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Jeni: I just love hot steamy sex.
Debi: Me too.
Jeni: Do you and Marc still have that kind of sex
after all
these years?
Debi: Sure. Just not with each other.
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FUN PAGE
Simon Says...
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PASHINIT
Rob and Jill are driving into town in his new BMW
to
get more beer and Jill's blowing him on the way.
Suddenly, Jill pulls her head up and says "yur
pashinit".
Rob grins and pushes her head back down.
Again she yanks her head back up and says "yur
pashinit".
"I know, I know" Rob says - "I'm very romantic,
eh!"
"NO, NO", Jill says, "yur pashinit... the beer
store's back there..."
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TRADING PLACES
A man was sick and tired of going to work every
day while
his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he
went
through so he prayed:"Dear Lord: I go to work
every day and
put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.
I want
her to know what I go through, so please allow her
body to
switch with mine for a day. Amen."
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's
wish. The
next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a
woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened
the kids,
set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast,
packed
their lunches, drove them to school, came home and
picked
up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and
stopped at
the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping,
then
drove home to put away the groceries, paid the
bills and
balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's
litter box
and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make
the beds,
do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop
the kitchen
floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and
got into
an argument with them on the way home. Set out
milk and
cookies and got the kids organized to do their
homework,
then set up the roning board and watched TV while
he did
the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing
vegetables for
salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh
beans for
supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen,ran
the
dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and
put them to
bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his
daily chores
weren't finished, he went to bed where he was
expected to
make love which he managed to get through without
complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt
by the bed
and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking.
I was so
wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home
all day.
Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My
son, I feel
you have learned your lesson and I will be happy
to change
things back to the way they were. You'll just have
to wait
nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
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