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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
When playing todays fun page 'Pong' I got beaten
21-14 by
the computer so I guess that's not really fair.
But the
thing is the computer keeps score... and that's
not fair...
plus it knows where I'm going to move too... so
that's not
fair. I think I'm just a sore loser... and also
I'm useless
at pong. What kind of a name is 'pong' for
something which
is like tennis... or is it just that the game
stinks?
Today I taught a group of friends how to make
sausage rolls
from scratch and also how to make crunch desert...
they were
both lovely. Actually crunch desert was even
tastier than I
remembered. For those of you who don't know you
smash up
some plain chocolate digestive biscuits and melt
some butter
and syrup and mix it all together for the base.
Then you add
some angel delight (choose your own flavour) and
then if you
like some fruit on top. My favourite bit has to be
the base!
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Yours droolingly,
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Why is it you can sue McDonalds if you get fat,
Marlboro if
you get cancer but you can't sue Smirnoff for all
the ugly
people you screw?
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CARTOON TIME:
Problems...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200311/005.htm
Close To The Ladies...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200311/006.htm
I Love You...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200311/007.htm
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FUN PAGE
Pong...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/pong.html
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THE OUTBACK WAY
A tourist arrived in Australia, hired a car and
set
off for the outback. On his way he saw a bloke
having
sex with a sheep. Deeply horrified, he pulled up
at
the nearest pub and ordered a straight Scotch.
Just as he was about to throw it back, he saw a
bloke
with one leg masturbating furiously at the bar.
"What
the hell!" the tourist cried, "what the hell's
going
on here? I've been here one hour and I've seen a
bloke shagging a sheep, and now some bloke's
wanking
himself off in the bar!"
"Fair dinkum, mate," the bartender told him, "you
can't expect a man with only one leg to catch a
sheep"
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LOWER MOUTH
A very naive British sailor is in a bar in London.
He meets a wild girl, and she takes him upstairs.
She
takes off her pants and her panties. He looks
between
her legs, and he says, "What's that?"
She says, "It's me lower mouth."
He says, "What do you mean, `your lower mouth'?"
She says, "Just what I said, it's me lower mouth.
It's got a mustache...it's got lips..."
He says, "Has it got a tongue in it?"
She says, "Not always.
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