| |
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
* ~ * ~ *
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
Get a FREE Digital Video Recorder from Dish
Network
Plus, up to 4 Rooms for FREE!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/azoogle680.htm
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
INTRODUCTION:
Lizzie and I went away this weekend to the
Scottish borders,
we stayed with a friend I'd met onine who'd been
at us to
come and visit. She was friendly at first but
spent most of
the time on her PC ignoring us completely... just
shows how
some people really are addicted to the internet.
Also,
sometimes it's best not to meet people because
you'll only
be disappointed.
On the bus back this guy got a boiled sweet
(candy) out and
fed it to Lizzies dog Maggie. I told him it was a
Guide Dog
and you're not supposed to feed them and he glared
at me and
told me to shut up. I tried to explain further the
reasons
but he grunted that he'd seen thousands of dogs
and it was
nothing to do to me and that Lizzie shouldn't have
a dog
anyway.... that made no sense whatsoever. I have
no idea
what goes through the minds of drunk down-and-outs
but that's
clearly what he was. When he got off the bus he
left lots of
sweet wrappers on the floor which the dog could
have easily
sniffed had it not been for a girl of about ten
who picked
them all up and put them in the bin.
That gives me some faith that maybe the world
won't be such
a bad place when the next generation grow up if a
young girl
knows how to behave better than a grown man.
Take care and remembers it feels better to make
someone happy
than it does to make them sad.
Phil (mailto:mrx@ezines4all.com)
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
QUICK JOKE
According to a new study, men who have frequent
orgasms, like at least once a day, may be
protecting
themselves from prostate trouble.
Doctors say this is true whether they use a
partner or not.
So, men, your health is in your hands. - Jay Leno
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
CARTOON TIME:
Surrounded By Ass-Holes...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200310/022.htm
This isn't a care-bear!...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200310/023.htm
Dangerous Snake...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200311/001.htm
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
FUN PAGE
Moon Patrol...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/moonpatrol.html
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
Need cash fast?
Get a $500 CASH ADVANCE overnight! Let
YourCashCentral get
you the cash you need.
Nothing to send, nothing to fax and no credit
check!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/azoogle705.htm
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
HANDICAP
Two golfers were waiting there turn on the tee
when a
naked woman ran across the fairway and into the
woods.
Two men in white coats and another guy carring two
buckets of sand were chasing her, and a little old
man was bringing up the rear. One of the golfers
asked the old man, "What the hell is going on?"
The old guy said, "She's a nymphomaniac from the
asylum, she keeps trying to escape, and us
attendents
are trying to catch her."
The golfer said " What about the guy with the
buckets
of sand?"
The old guy said, "That's his handicap. He caught
her
the last time."
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
FREE 10 DAY TRIAL OF CARB MANAGER
Carb Manager by Jake gives you similar results to
a low carb
eating plan but you can still enjoy your favorite
pastas,
breads and other carbohydrates.
Carb manager also works to maximize the results of
your
current low carb diet.
* Burn more calories
* Helps your body manage carbs better
* Helps create lean mass instead of fat
* Increases Energy
Carb Manager is endorsed by Jake. In fact it’s the
first
such product that has met his stringent
requirements for
quality and effectiveness.
Burn carbs. Eat what you want. Try a Free 10 day
trial now!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/azoogle710.htm
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
OLD FOLKS HOME
A guy gets put in a nursing home by his son. He
dosen't know if he's going to like it at first,
but
he decides to give it a shot for his son's sake.
The first morning in the nursing home he wakes up
with a hard on. Out of nowhere a beautiful nurse
walks in, kneels down & blows him without saying a
word.
The guy gets on the phone with his son and says,
"Son! I love this place! Thank you so much for
putting me in this nursing home!".
The son says, "Wow, Pop. You sound really happy.
What
happenened?"
The old man says, "You won't believe it! I woke up
this morning with a hard on & the most beautiful
nurse I've ever seen came into my room and blew
me.
Didn't say a word, just blew me."
"Well that sounds great dad, congratulations."
Later that day the old man is walking down the
hall
in his walker. He slips and falls and can't get
up. A
big hillbilly orderly comes up to him, rips his
pants
off, screws him and leaves him there in a heap.
The old man crawls to a phone and calls his son.
"Son
you've got to get me out of here, this place is
nuts!"
"What happend pop you sound terrible!"
"Well, I was walking with my walker and I fell
down
and I couldn't get up. Then this big hillbilly
orderly came by, ripped my pants down and screwed
me!"
"Well ya know dad you got a blowjob this morning,
You
gotta take the good with the bad..."
"No, you don't understand, Son!"
"I only get a hard on once a month! I fall down
three-four times a day!"
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
FREE NUTRACORE FOR A MONTH PLUS A FREE SPA SAUNA
BUCKET
Give yourself the chance to look great. Try
Nutracore for
one week free and tell us about the wonderful
results you
experience.
Plus for a limited time... Receive a FREE BONUS
ALL NATURAL
AT HOME SPA KIT.
Unwind in a hot bath and pamper yourself with our
luxurious
Spa Sauna Bucket... YOURS FREE
Don't miss out on this offer... Get your free
sample of
Nutracore and your Free Hollywood Spa Bucket while
supplies
last.
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/azoogle703.htm
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- |
