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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
As promised here is what happened on Easter Sunday
for those
interested.
I went to church in the morning and then was
invited out for
lunch, I thought fine that won't interrupt my
plans. Lunch
dragged on and I kept wanting to get away but my
host, who
was also driving me wasn't even on to coffee when
my sister
phoned to say that they were 15 minutes from my
house.
I phoned the ex Mrs-X (Lizzie) who was at my house
as usual
(just can't get rid of her) and told her to turn
the oven
on... that's about the extent of her culinary
wizardry, not
too difficult as I'd already set the temperature.
I won't bore you with all the cooking but it
resulted in:
Roast Turkey Joint, Grilled Chicken Fillets,
Chipolata
Sausages, Sausagemeat Stuffing, Sage & Onion
Stuffing,
Yorkshire Puddings, Roast Potatoes, Boiled
Potatoes, Potato
Croquettes, Carrots, Cauliflower, Cabbage and
Petit Pois
with lashings of nice thick ahhhhhh Bisto chicken
gravy.
Dessert was Hot Chocolate Fudge Cake with
Hagen-Daz ice
cream although that was eaten about three hours
later once
people had recovered enough to eat.
I was absolutely pooped from getting the dinner
ready so my
sisters very kindly volunteered to wash the
dishes.
It was a great day... and nobody fell out at all!
Although
having a three-year-old playing 'charge' right
into you when
you're trying to cook does require a little
patience.
Have a great day!
Phil (mailto: mrx@ezines4all.com)
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QUICK JOKE
A married couple is sitting in the office of a
marriage counselor. Neither has said a word since
they entered his office. The counselor, wanting to
start the session, says, "Tell me something
that both of you have in common."
There is silence for a few uncomfortable seconds
until the husband finally says, "Well, neither of
us
suck dick."
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FUN PAGE
Asteroids..
An addictive game and an 80's arcade classic!
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MATHS AND SEX
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife.
It
read: Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54
years old and I have certain needs which you are
no
longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with
you
as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be
hurt
or offended to learn that by the time you receive
this
letter, I will be having a great time at the Grand
Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I'll
be
home before midnight.
Sincerely, your Husband.
The wife responded:
Dear Husband, Your letter made me realize that you
too
are 54 years old, and by the time you receive
this, I
will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year
old
pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that
you
are, you can easily appreciate the fact that I am
going to be having a far better time than you are
because: 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54
goes
into 18. Don't wait up
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DANG STUPID WIMIN
Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch talkin'.
1st Hillbilly: "My wife sure is stupid!...She
bought
an air conditioner."
2nd Hillbilly: "Why is that stupid?"
1st Hillbilly: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!"
2nd Hillbilly: "That's nothin'! My wife is so
stupid,
she bought one of them new fangled warshin'
machines!"
1st Hillbilly: "Why is that so stupid?"
2nd Hillbilly: "cause we ain't got no plummin'!"
3rd Hillbilly : "That ain't nuthin'! My wife is
dumber than both yer wifes put together!... I was
going through her purse the other day lookin' fer
some change, and I found 6 condoms in there."
1st and 2nd Hillbillies: "Well what's so dumb
about
that?"
3rd Hillbilly: "She ain't got no pecker!"
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